~My Simple Life~

2009-04-14T07:03:00.003+08:00

And to think I'll be good and be a homeboy for a few days before venturing out again, I'm sorry to say I'm now at Changi Airport and waiting to blast off again!

Wohoo!

I know you're envious and you know I'm smug about it. So just suck it up and pout while I laugh at you throughout.

*Snickers*

Hopefully the riot at Bangkok isn't contagious. Else this smirking bastard will be pretty much 6 feet under.

Till the completion of your dissapointment and my as-a-matter-of-fact return, GO GET A LIFE AND STOP HANGING OUT AT MY BLOG!

Sheesh.

2009-04-09T18:59:00.002+08:00

Chaps and lasses, yours truthly is gonna embark on his well deserved celebratory vacation today!

Though the place I'm heading to, which by the way is Kuala Lumpir, doesn't really inspires much envy or jealousy, I still am pretty neck deep in conviction that it will turned out really well.

And thanks once again to those fair amount of friends (whom incidentally are of my opposite gender) who offered their listening ears to my failure of a ventured in the romance department.

I am truely cured of love. No more brooding Ben for any of you.

Till I'm back and suffering again, suffer more and be terribly envious of my holiday!

2009-04-01T23:35:00.006+08:00

Firstly, I would like to thank my naggy parents for siring this, erm, son? They make great parents but apparently their streak didn't last when they tried their hand at making a child.

Secondly, I would also like to make use of this chance to also thank my 13 years of education. Which did nothing for my moral upbringing. Absolutely nothing.

Don't even mention that crappy Moral Education. I will pick up that provobial 10 dollars if I ever laid eyes on it.

And last but never the least, I would like to thank my guilty conscience for inspiring me to write this remake of a favorite oldie.

Now suck it up and weep wimpishly like you're supposed to.

想回到过去

试着去阻止自己
不要让你对我而动了真情
破坏你完美爱情
夺走你幸福婚姻
最终还是我们三人
独自离去

我对不起你

2009-01-14T21:41:00.002+08:00

I'm bbbbaaaccckkk~

Have been disconnected from the cyber world from far too long. Currently neck deep in renovation work as well as furniture shopping for my new crash pad.

Didn't you know that I've moved out?

No, I didn't get thrown out though I'm pretty sure that's what's on my parents' mind whenever they see me bumming around.

Photos will be shortly available after I finish my god darn painting and furnishing!

Till then, don't MC too much from work least you get fire!

2008-12-26T12:30:00.002+08:00

It has been a long time coming but the drama of a love life I had tasted recently has come to an end.

In the story, I lost her and thus now I'm just by myself.

Oh well.

I have to go away and pack up my emotions for awhile so this blog will be pretty neglected. But I won't abandon this blog totally.

Gotta go take an emotional holiday! Take care mates!

2008-12-17T20:55:00.005+08:00

In these age of pseudo facts and half truths, I resent being the bearer of bad news.

Remember that a long distance bus met with an accident in Malaysia on the 12th of December, the same day I'm home bound?

Well, I wasn't on it, hence in the state of being alive and irritatingly smug about it. I believe there's still time to cancel those flower wreaths that you've so happily ordered.

*Insert mocking laughter*

Okay I had my fun, you had your disappointment. Suck it up like the sucker you've always been and move on.

I hate to be a drag so let's wrap this shite up.

Being a ardent believer that foreplay leads to greater pleasure at the end, I'm so gonna be ending this post with a tease.

Something to light up the night and warm up the heart?

Aching to know the answer to this question?

2008-12-10T02:15:00.002+08:00

Akin to being striken by wanderlust, I'm off to Genting tomorrow!

Again!

Talk about boring eh? Not this time though. Not anytime if I get to leave this stink hole of a place come to think about it.

Too bad my darling won't be able to go. Else all would have been puuuurrrrr-fect.

Oh well. C'est la vie.

Farewell and in case I have an impromptu meeting with my maker, have a nice life!

2008-12-04T12:34:00.006+08:00

So I was playing hokey from work yesterday right?

There I was at some clinic seeking a M.C. which was gonna be my ticket away from all that tedium from work. That's where this unexpectedly shocking conversation found its way to me.

Lady Patient: I was wondering if you're selling this particular "C..." something drug over the counter?
Female Nurse: What kind of medication is that?
Lady Patient: The 24 hour pregnancy prevention medication.
Female Nurse: Ooh the post intercourse contraceptive?
Lady Patient: Yah yah! The post intercourse pill.

WHAT THE FUCK!? How could both of them to speak with such clinical detachment like they were talking about the weather? Where's all that definitive asianic conservative-brainwashing stemmed squirmishness that plaques such sensitive topics?

No culture man!!!

2008-11-25T13:00:00.005+08:00

By far the best answer I've seen when asked what does someone see in someone else.

And its the best probably because it came from me.

Me: Its a million little things.. Which each by themselves means nothing.. Which as a whole makes no sense.. But when she's the one who posesses these million little things.. I know I've found the reason why I love her.

Don't you know there's always the danger there might be a poet lurking benearth the dimmest of all bulbs?

2008-11-24T12:17:00.012+08:00

A little back dating is in order here today on my blog which has always been the dump for the crap of a life I have and THE spot to satisfy your craving for a laugh or two.

That is if you have god complex and totally enjoy watching lesser people suffer from normalcy.

Okay lets not delve into the inner workings of you breathing and walking arses today and stick with the story.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Erhrm.. *Composes himself*

Having my reputation preceding me as an ardent clubber which, for the record, touches on the same truth like Iraq having weapons of mass destruction. Having that set straight, I must admit that I've been brainlessly squandering my sleep on nights of clubbing.

How did I got branded with such an image you say?

As all stories should, lets begin mine from the start.

The blogger in me has always been semi journalistic in nature, with the urges to cover events ranging from the mundane to the spectacular, I dragooned Thomas into heading down to the local night scene with me on Halloween night.

Germaine who unfortunately happens to be Wanyi, the apple of my cliques' eyes, accompanied us that very night as well having the same inclination to indulge in a mass debauch of an event with us.

The gem of the club, Germaine! Opening bids on her mobile number starts at 5 grand.

Charging downtown after work, me and Malcom (Eliz's charming boyfriend if I may say so myself.) joining the frantic fray in assembling our very own unique costume.

Malcom here needs a mask with ventilation. Ain't his expression cute!?

Which turned out to be as unique as at least 10 other people. So much for creativity.

Time fled in the sight of hard work and it was 11 in the sweltering night when all was set and ready to go. Packed with costumes and acessories ranging from brilliant to simply inane, we jumped in the snaking que awaiting to be let into Double O like a bunch of hyped up children brimming with excitement.

They got the place surrounded!

Loch ness giraffe?

New friends that practically lives there.

Whether it was sheer brilliance on Germaine's part or outright dumbness on the other guy's part, Germaine engaged with in a little small talk with a fella right at the head of the que and that guy simply gave her a spot right behind him!

Ladies and gentlemen, lets give a round of applause to Germaine for the the definitive demonstration of feminine charm/masculine stupidity!

Barely 10 minutes spent amongst the horde of impatient clubbers who were waiting for what? The past hour? And we we had lift off!

Swimming through the crowd made up of the ordinary Friday night bulk but with a twist that very day, festivities has brought a generous sprinkle of aspiring and some very successful undeads, monsters and cos-players.

Thomas's going as a doctor and I'm going as a sucker!

*Growls*

Too bad Thomas is going as a gynae. Really could use a dentist around there.

Akin to a British night sky filled with flak shells on an air raid, flashes from an assorted amount of cameras punctured the relative darkness, the shroud that hides all manners of sins and infidelity from others as well as one's self, exploded in brilliance from end to end.

Baring the mildew infested adage of "If you can't beat them, join them!" in mind, we trolled amongst the crowd, hopping from this cluster of camera sparkles to the next. We weren't much less spectacular ourselves so we were literally dragged to take pictures with complete strangers whom went as themselves while others were there in disguise.

'Capt! Can I see your pirate's booty?!

The nurse literally dragged Thomas up close and personal to take a pic with him. WHY CAN'T I BE THE DOCTOR!?

What you don't see is an oversize celling touching scythe Mr Grim Reaper there was carrying.

Horrors in anguish!

It was a night where photo taking even superseded the importance of alcohol.

Weird huh?

Anyways, after going a couple rounds in the club and snapping all the pictures we could with the ingeniously dressed and accessoriesed weirdos we've encountered, we got back to business at hand and begin dowsing ourselves with our collective favorite poisons.

Which happened to be as easy as picking up bowling ball with a pair of chopsticks. People were packed like sardines against the bar counter and perhaps the only option to get to a bartender was to climb over the thristy throng. Or cut them down with a Uzi or two.

Alexis went as her angry self. Scarrier than any ghoul or demon costume anyone can come up with in my opinion.

Perseverance did prevail at the end of a long 20 minutes wait, and we were sparingly watered down with an assorted range of cocktails but was only barely hitting the "You must be this high to dance" mark. What a long night its gonna be.

Coupled with the fact albeit the outside air was sweltering, the temperature inside the club nearly roasted us like a couple of carrots. The saying "Out of the pan and into the fire." never seem so adequate before.

For a moment there I thought we were in a sauna.

Thomas roasting with Jia Ying.

Far from intoxication and sweating like a roasted pig, we've spend the night dancing away to groovy music and having a hell of a time.

Even outside the club, the doctor's charm was irresistable!

He really looked like he needs medical attention.

Me with the bugger Wanyi who didn't go with us!

Okay she doesn't like being called a bugger!

And adding sweet icing to the already sweetened cake, it was were I first met the one that stoled my heart right outta my chest. =)

2008-11-16T23:59:00.004+08:00

Frazzled and jet lagged, I've managed to land in Singapore in 1 piece. Much junk to unpacked and many more souveniers to hand out.

Till I catch up on my sleep once more, take care fellas!

2008-11-08T11:28:00.006+08:00

Can you believe that even such an avid blogger like me can totally forgot about posting before I fall off your grids again.

In fact, I'm blogging at Changi Airport this very moment!

Yes folks, after many weeks of half hearted planning-turned-supper-sessions, I'm finally heading off Taiwan with my mates Chuan and Tok!

Phew, finally afforded a respite after an eventful week. Though frazzled both mentally and physically, I am thankful for all that I've went through.

Time's running out and there's one last thing before I'm involunteerily kicked out of the 15 minute only terminal.

I'm missing you already, my love!

2008-11-02T14:03:00.005+08:00

For the love of all things plastic and then non-biodegradable, I've finally gotten my very own credit card after 4 months, albeit the entire application process from submission to issue only takes like what? A week?

My piece of plastic with my name on it!

I believe I've just risen the act procrastination to an art form. You may now feel free to chuck in the "Proffessor" title whenever you address me.

I'm lazy and I'm brazenly basking in it!

2008-10-30T12:12:00.013+08:00

Kao Hao's birthday which just so happened to double as a Secondary school class get-together was a blast! It was as though timer on our friendship jammed after graduation and ticked once more that very day.

Sure, being your definitive skeptic and all, I have my fair share of doubts when it comes to gathering with people whom spent 1/2 a decade apart.

A much probable result would be one which proceeds with so much awkwardness you might actually drown in it. Or so you'll hope when you actually find yourself alive and wondering why the heck is there so many insufferable seconds in a minute.

But this isn't it. The evening's prelude of a dinner when by like a hot knife through butter that one might actually feel the slick. Which was the sentiments I was impressed upon after I was greeted by both their smiling faces and empty dishes.

Introducing my Secondary school mates, Wei Jian and Chong Wei! Oooh Chong Wei's so cute!

Me with the ladies, Renee and Jane!

Ooh and heres Ben!

Roger here is a pilot. Talk about rich friends eh?

Add 2 more to the list of pilots, people.

Yes yes, I was late. Can't say you're surprised and can't say I'm sorry about it either.

By the time I made my entrance, the foreplay for the night's festivity were concluded and everyone was served deserts of random chatter sprinkled with an equal part of friendly bantering.

It's Kah Hao's birthday so here's the star of the night unwrapping his present.

Hahaha you'll probably laugh as hard if you see what he got!

Yeah its a condom alright!

A group pic is definitely in order here.

Much haste was evident as we left promptly in sleek sport cars of Kah Hao's friends after exhausting the mainstream topics that always filled the air when catching up with old friends and arrived at Zouk in style.

How he ever made friends with those pilots of a friend, I'll never fathom. But what I know is that perhaps piloting helicopters have taken a hazardous toll on their perspective of safe driving. It was one of the few rare occasions I really appreciate the invention of safety belts.

Slightly weak knee-ed and light headed from all those Gs we've pulled at every turn and bend, Roger, Kah Hao, Wei Jian and I made a bee's line into Zouk and fell in with the other who arrived slightly.

Liquor in jugs were soon going around with unfaithful straws serving each and everyone and it wasn't long till the high kicked in. Self inhibition more or less fell apart at that time.

Amos was there too! He must be stalking me.

With the world spinning around on several random axis all at the same time, we hit the dance floor and PARTIED!!!

Here's the party goers! Oops we missed Ben abit.

Lowered the damn camera and viola!

Suffice to say liquor isn't the best aid in a already failing memory, my recountal after all that party juices ran its course may be lacking in the departments of accuracy as well as coherency.

Nobody's perfect so put a cork in it before I my put mine in for you. Pun totally intended.

It could have been a minute or was it several days later to me, but Kao Hao's female classmates managed to hit the scene. About goddamn time! I had enough of dancing with guys and it was bordering on a sausage fest.

Kah Hao's girls. In a non-pimp kinda way of course you sick shites!

Yes, I know that Renee was there. But you couldn't really take into account her presence as her attention the whole time was hogged selfishly by 'someone'. Where's the spirit of sharing!? I wanna dance with her too!

Anyway, brief introductions were made, albeit those exchanged found themselves lost amongst the blasting music as well as the haze of intoxication. With the deemed social protocols honored to the letter, there wasn't really much else to do but get down to business on hand. Or legs in this case.

What else could I mean by business in a place where booze chugging is the culture and funky beats blasting over the speakers were so loud you could hardly hear yourself think?

Dancing, you dolt!

Just friends but already looking like they belonged to each other!

*SMACK* What happened? Erm... LOL!

Minutes gushed on by and pooled into hours and those hours flew right out the window. Fun has a way of spinning the globe a little faster sometimes. But that is not to say that its journey went by without a single event worth mentioning.

In fact, there were two.

Lets start off with the darker one as I'm not one who likes to close on an unhappy note.

1) So with our heads in space, we dance and fooled around on the dance floor with these bunch of strangers who seep through our ranks. One guy apparently took my serious lack of inhabitation as a come-on and danced naughtily with me.

I was okay till he slip his hands into my front pockets and tried to burrow a little too deep for comfort. Of course I freaked and bolted for me mates taking a breather at the cluster of tables.

But that's not the end. Seeing that he lost his prey, that guy went around searching for me and when he finally dug me, he merely stated, not ask, "Why are you here. Lets go have fun!".

With that, he held my hands and dragged me back to the dance floor, perhaps to have his way with me. I was sloshed but not that sloshed and disappointingly, to both that guy and you sick shites hoping I'll be sodded, I managed to pull a fast one on him and left him alone amongst the grooving mob.

On a somewhat cheerier note.

2) One of the strangers who danced with us was this babe. Believe it or not she actually chose and danced with me. Maybe she was that drunk, or maybe she's blind to begin with, I would never know.

But I know that we danced with each other for perhaps a lifetime or two. We had tons of fun as we both pulled out all our dance routines, from the simply inane to some that tentatively brushes the fringe of sensuality.

Though I was head deep in alcohol, I managed to get her name and even took a photo with her. And everything went downhill from there.

Seeing my friends just standing apart from me and not joining in the fun, I pulled them in to dance with the babe. Apparently after I've rinsed and repeat a couple times with them damn obstinate people, she apparently got the point that we might not go beyond just picture taking and dancing.

So she moved away, avoiding me totally and treating though the time we spent before as though it was a booze induced dream.

Or that could have really been a booze induced dream if not for this:

Me and Rachael. If I got it correctly that is.

What's the point of getting her name and a photo with her in it when I NEVER GOT HER NUMBER right!? Yeah, I'm a fucking tard.

Oh well. Let me end this entry with a phrase of wisdom. Any night with booze and groove is a night well spent!

Till the next hangover, dance baby, dance!

2008-10-26T02:25:00.009+08:00

Through the rift, forth he came.
Above the dim, I heard my name.

And he said to me:

手因放开
不是不爱
是太过明白
决局本不在

封口不问
不是不在乎
是想免彼此
不捨而重复

假装遗忘
不是不痛
是无法忍受
手里的空

And his butt I kicked, back where he came.
In that corner, my mind he remained.
Seal up my heart, lock up my soul.
Took all the keys, and away I throw.

You see he and I, are all the same.
Yet he's just one facet, and I'm the main.
I'm in control, and he is not.
But still he tries, escape he sought.

To him I say:

Seriously, fuck off you emo momo! Hahahahahaha!

Why "假装"? WHY!?

2008-10-21T10:02:00.017+08:00

Even boulders get reduced to pebbles, so it isn't with much surprise that I would one day wean off the prosaic suppers and mahjong and move on to the more costly and exotic end of personal amusement.

Yes folks, I finally went for my diving trip!

As all recounts should, this one starts from the boring beginning. Not wanting to put you folks to sleep however, I'll just summarise the ever quintessential but insipid bits.

It was, right from the start, an unofficial trip that was again loosely organised by colleagues at work who were already into this skin wetting hobby. The first which I've been asked along but had given a miss due to my ex being intolerable to seawater, sand and all that kinda shite.

After regaining autonomic run of my life, all that freedom made my my balls swelled a little(Not clinically of course!) at the expense of my brains. So without so much as a second thought after the first which was "Screw longevity!", I signed up.

2 lobotomising theory lessons, a 6 hour too long pratical lessons that made me drank alot of pool water, and a test that made degrees seem like a walk in the park, I finally boarded the bus on a Friday night on Honkong Street.

Everyone doing some last minute preparation before setting off.

My fellow batch boys. We were even in the same platoon in the same company during BMT! Talk about close eh?

Penalty kick!

Part of the gang! Aren't they high?

Qi Ming and Kah Hwee obliging my request for a shot.

Me and Ah Long before we bitched about tons of things we couldn't change in life. Oh I was bitching and he was, well, listening/sleeping?

Together with many of the never seen before faces, our bus puffed smoke and drag its metalic behind into the night inching forward towards my exciting weekend getaway!

The lights dimmed and brighten every now and then, rousing me from that limbo between drooling asleep and drooling awake, often bowled over by the abrupt change in scenery. It wasn't until 2 past midnight that the lights brighten for the last time on the bus and I was ushered sandy eye down from it and onto a ferry 20 minutes later.

First stop to top up on cigs and assorted tibits. In ringgit! Do we feel we're 2.38 times richer or what?.

Still bubbling with excitement!

Half past dead.

I yawned till my jaws ached.

My sentiments were shared.

Up and down the boat bobbed, with some of us on the roof chatting away the better half of the night with a total stranger. It was long indeed before cooling sea breeze and the soothing sound waves lapping against the hull send us off to to sleep.

Taken by Timothy, the total stranger who's from SMU. Guo An get your fingers away from my face! ARGH!

Sleep depravation unfortunately cuts his IQ by 1/2.

Let's put it this way for this guy over here. 1/2 of zero is.. well.. still zero! Did I get the math right?

For two thirds of an hour before we were once again prematurely awakened and sent off stumbling into the night towards our lodging at Tioman.

You can't see or you can't read? Illiteracy is something you shouldn't be ashamed of.

The sun barely scorch the land when we woke up and head off for the first dive. Weariness hung heavily on our bones and drained all that enthusiasm from before right outta us.

A small view of the settlement in daytime.

Those beds nearly seduced me back to sleep! Arrest them officer!

Our semi-de-shack.

I huff, and I puff, and I...

...blew the shell off!

Qi Ming tried to show us another way to remove the shell of a hardboiled egg but had unknowingly performed it on a 1/2 boiled one instead. Yuck!

Meat so fresh it walks on all fours.

A happy man who just finished an absurbly cheap chocolate icecream.

But no! I'm not gonna miss the fun I've paid so dearly for just to catch a few winks.

Standing tall(Figurative of course) and refusing to sleep!

Into the sea I jump with my tight ass suits and my assorted gears on. Thrill and excitement worked its magic on me and flushed all the tiredness I was feeling right out to sea!

The first dive was experience with awe as the main course served with a generous peppering of fear. Sinking like a leaking tub, in less than a minute I had 15 meters of water above my head and was floating around like a spaceman!

Checking if I've got my shite together.

Arh fuck it. Photo taking is much more important than personal safety!

Open water classmates.

Okay okay I'll be nice and take for the couple + the extra! Kidding of course!

After the divemaster assured himself that we're not gonna drown ourselves through the customary drills, we were well on our way to touring the bottom of the seabed!

Fwah! Villa on the rocks. Bloody cool eh?

Can't possibly pass by without a shot...

...or 2!

Anyway this is Ryger, our fun loving classmate whom I've hung around with all trip long.

After that first dose of diving, I was practically living for the next dive. In and out we went, spending all the time we could amongst the fishes and saw wonders that
words just can't do justice enough to.

Chuan was faking sea sickness and oogling at the bikini babe. (Joking of course.)

Caught red handed. Or red face-ded in this case.

The advance diving peeps standing around just hanging loose.

There is no respite from my camera! WUHAHAHAHA!

Curious sea urchins stared wide eye and waved its spikes at us menacingly, lazy looking sea turtles dug and ate corals, eel slithered past silently and baby sharks loomed just at the edge of our vision.

Surface beauty.

Pseudo artsy shot.

Fun usually does that to people inmerse in it and before we knew it, 2 days had torn past us and it was time to take that longing last look. In retrospect, it was probably one of the best trips ever, with so much wonder seen and felt and quite a few friends made.

A hilarious sight that I couldn't pass up. Of course I asked for her permission to take a shot at it but that left her laughing and grumbling all the way home.

Who could have asked for more? I know I could.

K.O.

2008-10-14T08:55:00.003+08:00

Its 9am in the morning and I have to leave for my exam in half an hour's time. What the heck right? Especially since the exam is only from 12 to maybe 12.30? And I had to stay out till work which happens to be at 4pm.

And did I mention that the venue is at Changi Airport Terminal 2?

Shite.

Oh well. I'll just have to suck it like some pussy and throw myself outta my house.

Wish me luck?

My exam pass and my notes which happens to be that crumpled crap. Shite.

My ranting itinerary.

2008-10-13T13:43:00.005+08:00

And so I'm back.

Yeah yeah I know you're disappointed and all that I've made it without being in a body bag.

What can I say?

BETTER LUCK NEXT TRIP! Which by the way is gonna be in November!

(Get ready 'cause the next post will be about the fun filled diving trip!)

2008-10-10T14:31:00.012+08:00

Just to fill you in in case you ain't in the loop, folks. Yours truly is embarking on a short diving trip to the islands of Tioman for the weekends today!

As expected, this will be the last post before I leap off (Metaphorically speaking you literal blockhead!) the grid. But from here on I'm forever gonna add in something special.

Long have we known that life sometimes has the habit of circumventing the more defining aspects of life (E.G. Marriage, Babies, Retirement, Divorce. You get the picture.)and crashing headlong into the very undesirable end.

As if to reiterate itself in fear we forget, it happened just recently upon an ex-colleague of mine whom also happened to a childhood friend of my buddy's.

So its is with slight grief and some manner of epiphany that I've decided that if I should really join the throng that has passed on before, I would do so NOT with a bang 'cause that would be a terrorist's mindset.

But by flashing back to as far as my mind's eye can see, reliving memories both momentous and mundane, summing it all up and say:

"I've had fun!"

Pretty short for some overall summary of 22 years eh?

Oh well, see y'all in 3 days or 18 years!

(因为十八年以后又是一条好汉!)

Bye!

2008-10-06T21:22:00.019+08:00

So I finally gotten around to clear up my inbox. 700++ unread mails isn't really what you want greeting you following the customary *ding* every time MSN boots up.

Not kidding ya.

So bracing myself for a tedious session of yawn invoking byte packing, I cracked my knuckles and bravely went through my mail. My determination and discipline in reading each and every single mail was probably as unyielding as Playdough, so it wasn't long before I began randomly clicking and mass deleting every mail in sight.

Steal me steal, say that you'll steal me?

I think it takes it as a personal affront whenever anyone uses "screw you".

Remember kids, its rude to die without cleaning your tables!

How men and women work.

Fashionista!

All hail Spongebob, Lord of... erm... Porosity?

Andy Lau even invades kiddy cartoon time! Talk about brainwashing them young, eh?

During those many a mindless minute spent alternating between reading mails with passably interesting titles and deleting those ostentatious computer generated ones, 1 particular title caught my mind.

What followed next was possibly the loudest and hardest I've laughed in months.

Wait till you read this shite. I bet you'll be rolling over in laughter. I know I did.

============================================================
Hey XXX,

I know this email is brimming with insincerity as well as bordering on being bothersome. Maybe its the lack of confidants to listen to me, maybe I don't really have that much to say to anyone anyway. But still I have to get it out of my system.

I bet you might have guess you're the person I've been in love for the past decade. You didn't know!? Oh my god, the cat is outta the bag! Someone call SPCA!!! Hahahaha...

First things first. I really have to apologise for my alternate periods of attention and inattention towards you. I must admit that main reason is that I read too much into the things you do as well as stuff you say. Some spur me on, fanning my hope to a greater blaze, driving me to do some hopelessly inane stuff. Others on the other hand dash my hope like some pesky housefly, making me wanting to give up entirely.

Brainlessly though, I'll always arrive at the conclusion that if I keep staying in your life, someday you'll fall for me.

I know, I know. It's damn silly of me. But still I'm secretly an addict to hope despite my pessimistic take on life. Don't tell anyone okay? I have a reputation to maintain. =p

Anyway I decided sometime ago that after you've come back from XXX and I've come back from XXX that I'll tell you how I truely feel. In part I was hopping that a straight denial in the face would rescue me from this endless loop of loving and giving up. Of course there exist that small part of me hoping you might be drunk/crazy/sleepy enought that day and agree to be my girlfriend.

The words that I was planning to say were:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know that this is gonna be awkward for you. But still I have to make you go through this.

I've been in love with you for donkey years. It is without doubt that someone like you will inevitably get married and maybe even sooner than you think. I do not want to live with the regret of not even trying to make you mine.

I know you're still in love with XXX XXX. I'm know I can't and I'm not trying to replace him. But all I ask is for you to give me a shot. Maybe it might work out, maybe it might not. But at least I can say for a fact that I will try my hardest to put a smile on your face each and every day we're together.

Just let me take care of you, from now till the next better guy comes along?

Be my girlfriend?

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Despite the fact that its a trifle bit too late to be saying them, these words belong to you anyway.

It is without hope or agenda that I've send you this.

Your friend forever
XXX

============================================================

WHAT THE FUCK, right?! What kinda loser would compose this garbage!?

Incidentally, it was me.

LOL!

(The writer of this entry feels he's so funny, he often laughs at himself.)

2008-09-27T01:03:00.010+08:00

There. The rant about work that I've been saving up for a special occasion is spilling forth today! Pop the champagne and put on some funky beat, DJ!

Time to fish out you your best sardonic grin and wear it for all its worth. And nows your cue to say "I told you so~ -ouch!!!- what's that for?".

What's with the last part of that sentence? Hold that thought.

*Knocks your teeth out with a sledgehammer*

There. Now you know.

I said you could say it but I didn't swear on my granny's grave I won't do anything about that smirking and not to forget ugly slob that you've got on your shoulder.

I meant your head, you doofus.

Reader bashing aside, I've really endured enough depressing repetitions over the past 1 year and a few miserable months to finally say, "I've had it!!!"

And the final straw was...

When an email that its way to my handler regarding the National Education tour I was to participated the next day and he chance upon something interesting he would liked to share with me.

The instruction he interpreted and in turn relayed to me pretty much hung a smile on my face. It states though I have to attend in civilian clothings which meant that I had to drag around my pair of heavy safety boots and a bag bulging with my overalls.

However, I could just for that day, against the standing policy which prohibits coming to work in civilian clothings, turn up in them without having to saddle myself with cumbersome burden!

Just another cog in the grease smeared clockwork of the organisation.

Did he like farted?!

Oh wow! He's an unique snowflake afterall!

That next day came and I happily came to work in civilian clothings. Only to have the superior of my handler waltz right up to me and delivered my verbal chastisement with a generous peppering of saliva.

Spraying so much saliva in one serving is no mean feat, people. Don't try that at home. Or anywhere else for that matter.

Sigh.

Anyway, in its distilled form, the above mentioned example is just another clone of the day to day story of my carreer life.

1)Some git who outranks me will dish out some some partial or fucked up instruction
2)I will be a good little soldier boy and do as I'm told.
3)The problem sown by that fucked up instruction dispensed earlier on will come home to roost in time.
4)The problem will surface.
5)I will get fucked, though it isn't mind fault to begin with.

Multiply the above situation by the 2 years already spent in the force and the 5 remaining ones.

And I've had 560 workdays of generous tongue lashing so far and I'll be getting another 1300 more of it, before shaving off leaves and public holidays that is. Wohoo!

Tell me how do I not love my work?

2008-09-17T09:37:00.014+08:00

Though I could be anywhere near bearing the tag 'frequent patron of Singapore's nightlife', this bloke here still moves to the groove ever once so often. Especially since the company to get sloshed with was just about right.

Want to go to bed with me? Wuhahaha!

I danced!? Twitch is a better word for it I supposed. Provided anyone was sober enough to notice. =p

So there I was finding myself in the company of Wanyi, Eliz and all their assorted collection of friends from all manners of educational institutions queuing up for entry into Double O last Saturday night.

Scene of the crime.

Core accomplice.

Introducing from grinning, silly and to the handsome, me, Eliz and Phyo (Not a typo.).

The rest of you people shoo! Just me and Lizzie okay! Hahahaha...

Chopped (UV chop on the arm. Cool or what!?) and ready to be blasted off into the throng of prematuredly drunk and overly sweaty club goers like a space monkey awaiting certain gruesome death, we waded and squeezed between groups of crowd goers to the bar.

Wow! They got a life band there which sang my all time favorite, "Torn"!

Poor bloke started getting humiliated for his birthday very early that evening. His friend made random strangers kiss him while dragging him around in a blindfold! And I kissed him!

Like every other recountal that involves tons of booze, we drank. And we drank. And when we thought we couldn't stomach another drop of liver poison without doing a damn fine impersonation of our iconic Merlion right there on the spot, we drank some more.

I wanna drink from their straws! LOL!

Soak it up you git!

Infused with brazen courage, a welcomed side effect of having one's blood teeming with alcohol and having whatever little sense we had in the first place pillage by them, we broke ranks and hit the dance floor. Joining the fray, we did the Saturday Night Fever, the Robot and all the the delirious shite you'll expect from a bunch of drunkards.

Filled with people suffering from spasms in both their upper and lower limbs.

Oooh, what senseless fun it was!

The intermission between each bout of embarrassing dancing was spent struggling against the human tide, shooving our way out and back for each smoke/puke break. Easing into the habit after numerous such expeditions into the calm and still open air where one could puke and reflect on the lost of their earlier meals over a smoke, it was inevitable someone from the 19 strong group would suggest hopping over to O bar. And ultimately, back to Double O again.

Dom, Jianghao and me!

Don't they look like they belong to each other?

This loving couple never fail to crack me up.

To me it was never different. Same drunk bunch of friends, same blaring music and same kinda human congestion. A word of wisdom - whatever differences however stark matter little to people who couldn't really walk in a straight line without ending up in a tangle of their own limbs.

Roaming around the joint like we owned it, we had a little drink here and shook a little booty there, all the while running into familiar faces. For me, Ronnie seems to be there around every turn while a few more airforce guys turn up at random spots around and about. The last person I thought I would run into was none other Wilfred, a friend as well as a colleague, who happened to be down with flu the day before, was found at the scene. Bad puppy, bad!

Caught on camera! Nice finger!

Anyway looking the entire club night as a whole, the two distinctive incidents stood out above the rest with startling clarity akin to bloated corpses floating in a river are:

1) A fight almost found its way to me when I was technically caught chatting with a lady in the group who unfortunately had a boyfriend reeking of both choking smell of liquor as well as unbearable possessiveness.

The appetizer came in the form of him walking up to the chatting silhouettes of me and that lady with a storm brewing on his face.

Next comes the main course as I shifted my focus to the impending disaster, trying the tried-and-proven method of diffusing the possible troublesome situation with small talk. The results? Getting snubbed with gruff answers overlay with a tone seething anger.

Finally comes the desert as my harmlessly thrown joke of "Wah you sound so hostile, I think you might hit me. Relax leh." was answered with a "Maybe.".

What the fuck.

Though I was afterward assured that his infuriating attitude is just a known result of his intoxication, I was nonetheless offended. If he so much as in lift a hand against me, I bet my sizable arse I'll show him that I'm indeed the son of my dad.

For those who knows my dad, you'll catch the drift. *Wink*

I don't even know what's this suppose to mean but we were high and we didn't care!

Ooh here's one with Wai Kian at the right having his tofu eaten by Dom!

WAKE UP!!!

Too drunk too humorous.

2) I had a near picked-up encounter with a gorgeous lady at the club. Before you wear that skeptical frown as if it was called for, I admit I was high but the mere study of the beauty before me jolted me back from Planet Volka.

With a half filled pitcher of alcohol in my care, I couldn't join the rest of the kakis for a breather outside. So standing by the side of the bar, a ravishing lady in her early twenties came over and asked "Mind if I steal a straw from you?".

"Sure, I don't mind." came naturally to my lips before I even register what was going on.

Seeing that her glass was filled with murky grayish stuff, I couldn't help but asked "What's that you're drinking?".

A drink which I heard earned its name by dropping their owners stone dead wormed its way into her reply as she said "This? Its the Graveyard.".

Only after letting out an admiring "Wah.." in response to her brave choice of drink did it struck me that why did she have to steal a straw from my pitcher when she was at the bar with serviettes and straws well within her reach. Also, doesn't drinking from a straw pushes you over the edge of consciousness faster, especially drinking such a potent mix?

Alone in the dark with some pretty chick? Anything could happen. But nothing did. LOL!

Only then did I realised that the seemingly harmless question was an subtle excuse to initiate conversation with me and - you'd never have guessed what moronic thing I did next - I walked off.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!

My stomach was protesting dangerously to all my deposits and I didn't really feel like making an idiot outta myself since I'm already neck deep into the bottle.

But if you ask me, I'd say that deep down, somebody is a shy fuck who doesn't believe that anyone that pretty would wanna hook up with him. That's my reckoning.

Like the rest of you, I was thinking why would she possibly want to chat with me since there's like a ton of better looking guys out there? Perhaps it was just a hallucination conjured up by a mind saturated with alcohol.

Which unfortunately wasn't the truth as I return much later in the company of my friends to the sight of the same siren dancing a slow sensual dance, to the pleasure of some guy whom I think was in her company before.

Another "What The Fuck" on the rocks please.

Two men down! MEDIC!

All in all, it was a spectacular night out. Got to know myself a couple of pleasant folks like Eliz's boyfriend Jiang Hao and both hers and Wanyi's friends, Wei Kian and Phyo (Still not a typo.). And just for kickers, I didn't drink till I puke, much less till I drop.

I'm so proud of myself I would wrench my arm out of its socket to pat myself on the back.

2008-09-08T17:54:00.015+08:00

If you think I'm one of those rootless, not to forget unfilial bastards that treats his family with about as much care, love and concern as one would treat a piece of cheese and spits contemptuously in the face of those goody-two-shoes whenever they try to brainwash me with their family love bullshite, you're probably not far from the mark.

Ironically, despite my apparent lack of anything resembling love for my family, I spent a precious Saturday with my Mum, Sister and her boyfriend.

Don't gape. It makes you look dumber than you already are. If that's altogether possible at all. *Throws a disarmingly winsome smile and scatters your mounting anger and indignation.

The day to ride the Singapore Flyer began like most of the other days in this straggling quarter of the year.

Wet.

Albeit I was filled with more encouragement to seek out the warm embrace of my soft bed than to actually head out into the sodden cold, I grudgingly made my way out.

In part, I'll have to admit, was to rid myself of my mum incessant nagging, no matter how little I'll relieved myself of, but still in part to fulfill a promise made by a silly son to his sillier mother.

Having bought the tickets weeks before from a neighboring Comunity Centre, we wade without an inkling of a clue amongst looming forest of HDB flats in the pouring rain. More of sheer luck than following directions of a multitude of strangers, we finally stumbled upon the throng awaiting under a void deck just in time to board the bus.

A short nap and an abrupt halt later, I was rudely awaken to find myself at the Singapore Flyer. Again. But what the heck. Its the company that matters, isn't it?.

With a overly generous half of a whole hour thrust into our laps before the our Singapore Flyer ride actually takes flight, our group fragmented back to its make up of families. Which kinda left me in the company of my mum to mill about the premises, taking many a touristic go at my camera here and there.

She has aged very graciously if you ask me.

I look frazzled!

Abit too patriotic le ba? Orchids and Singapore flag.

Time gave us the slip whilst we were taking turns posing for shorts that'll even make tourists roll over in laughter, all the time oblivious to the fact despite the approaching of the stated hour, my sister and her boyfriend was nowhere in sight.

Just when that particular oversight finally dawned on us at the instant hollering for assembly pierce the disharmonious murmurings of the crowd and anxiety hit us in fully in the face that, as though on cue, my sister and her boyfriend appeared around the bend, slightly flustered and very drenched.

Akin to a flock sheep, we were hustled into the glass doors that begins our journey around the Singapore Flyer. Literally.

Scores of people! Better not fart or casualties will skyrocket!

Impressive artsy shite!

Buffeted by intermitten wind accompanied with blobs of good old fat rain, we dashed into the dry confines of the cabin and await the the 35 minute accend and subsequent decent of the ride that has become a must-try for every country loving Singaporean.

Here comes the ride and there goes nothing!

Don't worry. They've got you. 'Cept I've loosen a few strings here and there...

Inside the cylinder of a slow moving washing machine =)

Rising clear of the 2nd story of the complex which surmounts as well as supports the wheel, the sight that greeted us exceeded even my greatest disappointment.

View? What view?

Another obscured look at the Esplanade area.

Everwhere we turned we were greeted by Singapore's architectural beauty enshrouded by a curtain of gray bleakness, siphoning the colours and splendor out of the otherwise picturesque sight, rendering what we saw rude embalms of their true self.

The higher we soared, the bigger the chunks of excitement disappointment bitten off us. Taking a ride in the day has already bereft us of our skyline's true beauty, which even a country bumpkin like you would know (You look cute when you're pissed. I'm so gonna get away with my insult!), which is only revealed at night.

And kicking our misery up an extra notch was that not only that did we were not able to see even the daylight watered down version of the city's grandeur, we were not able to see much shite at all!

Hung up so high with escape but nigh, we did what every other passenger did. We had fun with our cameras!

Caught sneaking a bite.

Me and my mum. Looks more like we're siblings right?

All 'cept me.

A loving couple.

Not photoshopped one okay! My mum was a beauty. Was is the word. Now she's just plain old mum.

Rain or shine, this partying kids don't give a shite. One for the little guys!

As though going around on the Singapore Flyer did turned the weather around as well, the rain that stalked whenever shelter eludes our sight since that very morning so far suddenly let up, thwarting the heaven's plan of turning our little dot of a country into the next Atlantis.

Go.

Going.

Gone!

With the tightening of God's leaky faucet, the beauty that has lurked in the background was unleashed, struck the crowd in full force sending those armed with flashing and whizzing image grabbing gizmo into a frantic but short lived snapping frenzy.

Someone call the NEA!

An accidentally picture with much of the Singapore skyline in the backgrounds and the models for future Marina development in the foreground. All in all it was an artistic mistake!

Exiting the stuffy cabin and into the sullen mist which remained of the downpour did little to mire the cheery mood of my Mum as she made her way happily across to the exit. Like a little girl with a birthday wish which did came true, a smile lit her face for the rest of the day.

Come right in and buy stuff you don't want for prices you won't wanna pay!

Pole dancing?

Where's my mum?!

All that was left of the outing was dinner which was included in the package and came in the form of small food coupons. Perhaps we embraced our Singapore culture a bit too vehemently, or maybe whipped into haste by the cold and hunger, we tore free of the coagulating crowd clogging the passageway out and sped towards the 2nd Popeye in the entire miserable country!

Don't ask where's your spinach. Its not funny. Really.

My appetizer.

They say that hunger is the best sauce, I'd add that its best when served cold on piping hot meals. The meal vanished quickly between each huge chomp of the chicken, gobbles of its signature mash potato and swallow of their soft warm bread.

Mmm mmm!

BLEAH YOU BACK!

You call that making a face?! Pft!

Feeling apparent bliss which most thought was from the satisfaction evoked by our sumptious dinner which was actually the result of the bodies' blood rushing to digest a heavy meal leaving the brain with little blood and even lesser oxygen.

Sorry for popping your bubbles so blatantly.

With a vacant minded smile of contentment hung on faces, we sat dreamily at the assembly point awaiting for the bus to pick us up and send us home after a charming day with my family.

But not before they spent $10 just to take a photo on these Harley babies.

2008-09-04T10:05:00.007+08:00

Oh oh! Digressing from the unwarranted radio silence to share with you a thought that hit me this morning. Remember the well worn adage of life's inevitablities being death and taxes? I do begged to differ.

While fleeing from taxes rarely proves benificial to one's health or could be hardly considered lifestyle living, especially taking into account of the hideous living conditions in jail and its appalling prevalent fashion.

Its still nonetheless plausible if one is so stupidly inclined. The exclusion of screwups in one's life on the otherhand exibits as much possibility as licking your elbow.

I knew you'd try licking it! Moron!

Thus it is with utmost pride that I divorce death from taxes and remarry it to failure!

Wow, aren't we insightful today.

P.S. I've uploaded my absolute favorite at karaoke! Sing along kiddos!

2008-08-29T15:50:00.027+08:00

Its that time of the year again when people we know are unfortunately reminded of 3 things.

1) They're still very much a loser since the previous year they've checked. (HAHAHAHA!)
2) 1 year closer to whatever manner of preordained death life has promised them.
3) They should if not already, always be in a unreasonable state of eyes-darting palm-sweating fear.

No, the fear's not stemmed from the edging up of the inescapable passing into the oblivion or whatever form of afterlife, depending on what religion you subscript to.

But rather, its about the celebration that always lurks around the day they were shoved into this shithole of a world!

Yes, you've guessed it! Its birthday time, folks! With me, the victims and whoever is hopping on the Torture Express!

I intended to have it developed into an A4 picture for both their funerals should they not survive that celebration. Yes, a birthday celebration always carries with it the potentially life threatening danger.

Having both their birthdays reasonably close in the month of August, me and my band of croonies decided to have a joint celebration in view of many lean purses and wallets, an inexorable result from the passing of roughly 1/2 a month since pay day.

Being the main conspirator, I've looked up on dozens of webbies (NOT PORN!), from sourcing weather forecast to seeking bus services and concluding the preparation of the plot, digging around for some memorable dinning experiences in its walk-friendly proximity.

All of my effort put in for a refreshingly enjoyable day in East Coast Park, cycling or blading on sun drenched pavements which are sprinkled and surrounded with babes clad in the most enticing manner posible. And to seal the deal, a sumptuous dinner at a warmly lit restaurant which we'll dine, chat and laugh the night away.

Instead, look how it all turned out.

It rained. And rained. Even after the setting of the sun and rising of the moon it still rained.

Fate with its perverse sense of humor ambushed us at every turn possible, turning what brilliant idea for a celebration in the sun and all the considerable effort put in to make it goddamn possible into another one of its sick joke, marring the perfect day I've painstaking planned with a disappointing start.

Not to mention damping the mood for festivity. Pun totally intended anyway.

Failure, beside teaching us of society's response in our achievement of it, usually in the form of public humiliation, also taught us the need for contingencies.

Originally the wet weather program I had in mind was a karaoke session at the Kalang area and a subsequent birthday dinner in any of its many famous eateries. Albeit a little lackluster, the idea itself still manages to live up to the expectation of a birthday celebration.

However, with many mouths came many suggestions, warping the backup plan from as it was till it became a celebration on ice (Ice skating you moron. Where else to find ice big enough to celebrate on!?) at the recently refurbished Kalang ice skating ring and ultimately, ice skating at the plain old Jurong Entertainment Centre. Argh!

Not again!

And so $17.30 of cab fare from East Coast Park back to Teban and then to JEC later, we have landed on home ground ice!

Whey Wei Jian don't oogle at the ladies leh!

Romance served cold.

The only people who knew and enjoyed how to skate. Well passably.

It was years since any of us lay foot on ice and skating came back to most of us in bits and pieces, often leading to awkward and seemingly unstable footing. But came back it all did after fumbling for a quarter of an hour, sending us gliding around the ring in semi amateur manner.

Unfortunately for those newly acquainted with their ice skating boots and know nuts about what to do with them other then putting them on, were in for a rough ride.

First time skating together!

Putting one foot before the next became all they were concerned with for the next 2 hours. Crawling at a snail's pace in a circle and clinging on to the sidewall railings for dear life weren't really anyone's idea of fun.

I can safely put my money on that other than intensely sore feet and mild shivering from the cold, they had a really shitty time. And since Wei Jian was one for them, I say the celebratory activity was pretty much screwed.

Men in pain!

Argh why don't they feel any pain at all. No fair!

Not really my idea anyway but I share the blame nonetheless.

Up next comes the good old birthday dinner that we've heard so much over the years and yearn to hear even more!

Choice of slaughter ground this time round?

A place which packs a steady flow of human traffic to chase away that dreaded feeling of isolation that you find in so many desolated malls, somewhere which houses a myriad of decent restaurants for us to choose from, and - you've guessed it - a place which conforms to our total agreement regarding the range of venturing, in plain simple fucking English, some dump that's disgustingly NEAR.

Where else would fit the bill other than IMM, my dear readers.

I can see the disappointment oozing out of you. Know what? Welcome to the club.

But come to think of it, thank god we didn't just eat at JEC after already had our afternoon spent there or I'll really shoot myself in the head.

After a quick shuttle bus ride over to IMM and a little tottering around on the ground floor where all the restuarents were vying for business, we settled in at the seldom patronized Cafe Cartel, a shot at seasoning the evening meal experience with tiny splash of novelty.

Look who I found wandering around! I miss you, Xiao Bai, and your cabbage dance!

The joint.

Feed them!

Orders were made with little fuss and we were serve promptly, wolfing down our meals with the least decorum possible before one transgresses into the region of the uncouth.

SHOCKED!!!

Always accompanying our meals is the usual heartwarming banter, peppered with the anecdotes which were at times answered with further comments but always ending with intense laughter. From the drool inducing start till the burpish end, the meal was impeccably the climax of the outing, intoxicating everyone with sense of contentment.

Wei Jian: Wah lau I eat you also wanna take picture. You like me so much meh you stalker!?

The new spokesperson for Cafe Cartel.

The battlefield with all its casualties lying in bits and pieces.

Don't forget a group photo!

Little do they know that dinner has always been the the traditional excuse for foreplay, paving way for a diabolically sweeter desert we'll serve to those two happy unsuspecting birthday boys. Yum.

With the two victims-to-be adjourning from the scene for an overdue pee break, we (Especially me.) hasten our arse and whisked up a vile concoction that'll serve both as a ritualistic beverage for their passing of another year as well as insidiously fun filled entertainment for the rest of us watching them drink it.

The ingredients to a cup of puke tonic.

Voila! The esscence of all things vile and disgusting!

The result? I'll let the pictures do the talking.

WTF! Not this again!

What's in it!?

Fuck! Do we have to drink this shite?

Oooh I would have given alot not to be them then.

Brand this image of Thomas's ostentous suffering and savour it forever more!

Wei Jian's barely reining in his puking reflex.

With a little coaxing here and a little taunting there, the drinks found home through their mouths, riding into their churning stomach and lived happily ever after!

With the cocktail ritual religiously observed, we kicked back and waited for the bill before we shove out. And waited. And fucking waited!

Does he look like he's blowing Wei Jian or puking all over his jeans?

All that waiting drove Thomas homocidal.

Thomas enjoys sticking it into everyone. A totally vulgar statement!

Stoned.

K.O.

Someone call the morgue and their next of kin please?

I am a survivor. I'm gonna... *yawn* not make it...

Finally the bill came!

Drunk from both Thomas's and Wei Jian's exquisite sufferance and tired by the excessively needless waiting, we concluded the festivity and called it a night.

Or did we?

Yeah, it was mahjong again. B.O.R.I.N.G.

We are a predictable bunch, aren't we?

2008-08-27T18:43:00.005+08:00

The ponderous phenomenon that has cast a quizzical overtone to my stagnant life these past few weeks has left me feeling strangely contented.

My time at work these days are getting mercifully shorter, rarely ever hitting the 6 hour mark, though I've spent most of it on menial labor.

Sleep on the other hand has greedily stolen more than my usual fix of 6 hours, effectively incapacitating me for yet another 8 more, rendering little time left for whatever other aspects left of my life.

No longer have I the time to play the games I don't enjoy, watch DVDs for the umpteen time, hang around online doing nothing in particular or even blog about the mundane that only lesser than a hand full of people read about?

Oooh. Talking about blogging, I had an eventful weekend filled with decent amount of photos and tons to talk about. You'll be so thrilled.

Okay, back to my rantings before I sidetrack and hit a totally different vein of feelings again.

All in all, lesser time stolen by work yields an even lesser resultant personal time?

Irony seemed to be the staple these days.

Which brings me back to my initial question. Then why am I filled with contentment still, despite losing my semblence of a life?

And while we're at it, why do I even love bananas?!

2008-08-22T19:23:00.007+08:00

A fairly exotic and not to mention exorbitant interest I'm picking up led me on my way to the nostalgic (Why nostalgic? Another story for another time kids.) Tanjong Pagar too early on a Saturday.

No, I'm not turning gay. Exotic! Not erotic! Learn to read for the love of all things heterosexual.

So what is that I wanted to pick up? Why I'm glad you asked 'cause I've been meaning to tell you to shut the fuck up and read on. That or kill yourself with a bullet through your pathetic excuse for a brain.

I'm mean and I'm loving it!

Anyway setting off on the right foot demanded we attend to matters close to the stomach first and that we did as I met up with Ruilong for a quick lunch before making our way.

Where else is better than the unfailingly mediocre shopping centre which we all came to despise and spit upon, the one and thankfully only, good old JEC(Jurong Entertainment Centre.).

A twitcher and a lunch date. Kinda.

Not a very sumptuous lunch I assure you but its a lunch nonetheless.

A brief and burpish affair, our lunch was concluded and we met up with Aaron to catch a train on down to Tanjong Pager where we planned to rendezvous with the rest of the party to do handle the paperwork.

Paperwork. No fun getaway of any sort escapes unscathed by its tedium. Oh well.

Aaron doesn't own an EZlink card. Where's his culture man!?

Wenlong, Aaron and Ruilong figuring out where the heck that place is. Me? I'm just contented taking pictures, thank you very much.

Tucked neatly away on the 3rd floor in one of the many modernized restorations of age old shophouses, the office we spent 15 baking afternoon minutes searching for just sat lying there amongst its brethren, not even bothering to hail out at us to save us the trouble. Inconsiderate place really.

Barking up the wrong tree. In this case, the wrong street.

Why don't we ever see any gangster fights in back alleys?

The lost boys?

Mild irritation imparted by all that unnecessary sweating gave way to tingling excitement as we reached the end of the stairs up towards the office, took off our shoes and entered the office.

Tricked by the stiff and self respecting exterior of the place, my expectations of the joint were anywhere but on the mark. All I could say after giving the place a good 2 seconds look and an another 2 for the shock to slip off was evidently what my favorite blogger Blinky Mummy always say. FWAH!!!

If you haven't figure out what hobby I'm picking up by now, I can for certain said that all that oxygen and nutrients never made it up past your neck.

Nice or what?! Anyway this is the only frontal shot of Wenlong which he unwillingly posed for.

Guo Huang and Germaine. Lovely couple eh?

Yes folks. I'm finally picking up diving after my feeble will power was crushed into dust by the overpowering hunger for adventure nutured by the mundane happenings of my life.

Sigining on for such an expedition to the deep blue is more trouble than it would seem. There was this form for acknowledgement of danger, that form for health declarations and others for tedious details which did bored me to tears.

Luckily there was Meowzer. Or I would have opened a vein seeking escape from the agonizing existence of my life further compounded by all that form filling!

Meet Meowzer! Say meow!

So for minutes on end, my attention drifted between ticking funny little boxes on the forms, keying in my particulars on the computer and petting that little ball of fur. With such a arresting distraction at arm shot, all that needed filling were filled even before my patience could be wore off and I started to complain.

Sigh. I'm actually quite sullen by the fact that I was kinda robbed of my chance to whine.

We proceed to submit our forms and in ones completed our payment to seal the deal. After the deed was done and over with, a few of us who couldn't keep our grubby fingers to ourselves began tinkering with the seductively professional assorted diving gear on display on the racks.

Time to pay the piper!

Thus began an equally time consuming episode of shopping which stole the better half of the afternoon, pulling it right under our feet and sent us landing with a sudden thud into doorstep of evening.

It still ain't clear to me whether it was Monica's compelling sales speech or was it our own compulsive desire to better ourselves in a new hobby, but most of us did came out of the joint with bags big and small.

Shopping frenzy!

We are closer than your average stranger. Not literally of course. But yeah, definitely closer.

Hunger crept past us unknowingly amidst the afternoon's happenings and left famishment in its wake. And not to mention that no true food connoisseur in the right state of mind would pass up a chance to pamper their taste buds when Maxwell Market is but 10 minutes walk away, along with the Original Ya Kun laying literally just around the corner.

Digressing, did you know that the Ya Kun at Tanjong Pagar was my fave haunt back in the days when I was still dressed in blue 1/2 of the weekdays, had my facial features dotted with pimples and was perpetually on overdrive, the unfortunate result of a hardcore tea addiction.

I've been wanting to come back for a long time since my reinstatement of my singlehood.

Not that I am partial to blue, mind you, but the colors of one's Secondary school uniform isn't really opened up to discussion.

I see I'm boring you folks more than usual. Fine! Back to the recountal then, see if I care!

As most parted ways, making their way through their day and through their list of other appointments, me, Ruilong and Aaron, with social schedules to rival the bleakness of the North Pole, were left to our own vices.

And look where 3 ravenous stomaches got us.

You're drolling on your keyboard.

Machiam advertisment hor?

Meet Aaron and his newly aqquired flippers! Yah and the bag of some other diving stuff too.

Though toast and tea didn't really filled us up, it nonetheless hit the spot, sending 2 sated dudes on their way home. What happened to the 3rd fella? He blundered in on his good friend's date of course.

Not that it was with that intent that I made my approach, but that was the way I would call it when both only Carol and Dom were in the flesh.

Blissful in each other's company. How not to hate?

Mitigated by my long attained understanding of respective failings of each and every member in our loosely knitted family of friends, I recovered from my amicably short tirade of preferred vulgarities just before I broke the social threshold for acceptable swearing.

As usual, I found out that excluding Dom, the rest whom all seemed adamant at attending the Career fair just the night before, had all answered to greater callings, say sleep for starters.

Leaving me stranded in this quaint three way conversation which I felt I wasn't invited to. I did, for my defense, tried to bail out of my imposition on them but was cordially stayed by their combined entreatment.

Ah, fuck it. I was nuisance once, how hard is it for me to be a nuisance again?

So with the freeing certainty that I couldn't get out of it without being outrightly rude, I simply decided that I might as well make the best of it.

Time to look for another job.

Our odd trio circled the Career fair a couple of times, stopping only when the human congestion crawled to a standstill or turned on itself. We religiously collected assorted pamphlets of various faculties whenever the names of the institutions or the courses they offered piqued our interest, and feeling me with rancor to say, whenever we become waylaid by some over zealous booth attendants hellbent on adding their burdensome load to our pile.

Having more info than we could possibly digest, we stowed away the stack of varied-colored pamphlets and went on a detour for some discounted shopping next door which turns out to be just cursory glances and occasional fiddles but nothing more.

Dinner was the next order of the evening which was concluded after some milling around of the Raffles City Shopping Centre basement. But not before the usual trading of anecdotes, witty observations about all things under the sun and bringing each other up on the latest cause for resentment at one's work.

A candid moment caught on camera.

Fuel for my tummy!

With an hour or two to waste before the two lovebirds make off for their movie plans later that evening, we settled in at J-Co for some serious looking through of the day's bounty at the Career fair and discussions regarding the furtherance of our academic accomplishments.

Where's the J? He's posing for you and making a face in the picture. Go figure.

You might have guessed it but might not believe it. All that serious intentions packed into the donut session turned out to be just another continuation of the dinner conversation.

It's saving grace was that we did after all took the dull stack out for a look or two and perhaps throw in a few minutes of relevant discussion. But that was far as that went before the conversation once again resumed its lighthearted bearing towards the inane.

Look at their seriousness! Its so thick, you can run headlong into it and hurt your head!

With a smile on my face and 9 on the watch's, I took leave of their company and call it a day.

Incidentally, I bought this!

2008-08-19T21:25:00.014+08:00

You may think that Jianwei is just a gutless little chicken shite who don't even dare to cross the road without the beaming guidance of Mr. Green Man at any traffic light.

You may think that Jianwei is just another sissy mummy's boy who follows the hollowed out 21st century values like "honesty" and "integrity" to the letter.

You are so wrong!

Look at what I STOLE from work!

The loot.

I'm Italian-Job proud to say that I pilfered the half dozen of precious jelly, right under the very noses of all those who've sworn a blood oath to guard them with someone else's life!

The plan? I'm so fucking glad you asked! It was absolutely flawless, an act of pure art which amateur thieves would forever cry themselves to sleep every night at the mere thought of my consummate exploit.

Picasso would have gladly lay his arm around my shoulder and called me a a fellow artist. And all the glorification so far would still be an understatement.

Here goes.

I took a packet of 6 jellies. Put it in my bag. And I walked out.

You can stop holding your breath and breathe now. I don't like purple faced readers.

Tool of the trade. With it you could steal a elephant from a zoo and none will be the wiser!

Yes yes, I know I'm am probably the best thief of my generation, perhaps even the best in both dust buried generations of past and brilliantly new generations that has yet to come.

But a true man shan't never rest till he attains the ever elusive perfection.

So it was with those heartfelt words which filled my girly soul and fiery passion that coursed through my fat clogged veins that I've decided what my next heist is gonna be about.

I am gonna steal AN. ENTIRE. DOZEN. of jelly this time round!

Rein in your shock people! I'm not jesting! As impossible as it may sound, I will attempt it nonetheless. I know all you scums and scoundrels would be selling their souls for my success.

But a real man like me will reach for the stars and the great beyond with his two hairy hands instead of accepting some unholy intervention.

All I can and will say is, may the force be with me.

Jail me not! For my actions do not merely speak of my own foolishness alone but represent the collective stupidity of all my readers, and probably of the entire mankind as a whole!

2008-08-17T23:03:00.004+08:00

A snippet of a tagboard conversation with a complete stranger which turned out to be quite funny.

Jerk: Did she get abducted by aliens? ('Her' refers to Laney, the owner of the blog.)

alex: maybe that too, but we don't know what's true anymore. (Her boyfriend as well as a co-blogger on the same blog I supposed.)

Jerk: Mulder once told me the truth is out there. I'll call and ask if he found it.

Ah, I'm so fond of nonsense.

2008-08-15T00:14:00.003+08:00

I was writhing from outrage by the time credits rolled for the first Singapore produced crap of a movie, "Money Not Enough 2".

Save yourself the agony and waste your life on some other bullshite.

First as in amongst so many films directed and written by Singaporeans, this is the only overwhelming disappointment so far, you doofus.

Ugly comments punctuated with ample and not to mention colorful vulgarities hung on the very edge of my lip like a brooding avalanche, promising to bury all within earshot with enough swear words to last a (Maybe even 2. Yes I was that pissed) lifetime. However, civility as it seems, demands that I rant in private, with perhaps a few tolerating close friends and unfortunate members of the family.

Let me say for the record that my fishwife-like proficiency in cursing was not achieved in manners of days, but rather the proud cumulation of years studiously spent as an understudy under my master of a dad.

Anyway, the distaste in my mouth grew so unbearable that it ripped away whatever shred of decorum holding my tongue in check, prematurely setting off my tirade even before me and Gimo reach Mac which was a mere 50 paces away.

Fervently wielding my decent vocabulary of vulgarities which such grace that would put most of our revered veterans to shame, I let fly with all the emotions invoked and thoughts induced at poor Gimo, telling him at a tediously long length at how bad I thought the show was.

3 Major Reasons to fuck it like there's no tomorrow:

1) STOP FUCKING VICTIMIZING THEIR MOTHER!!! Shoving down our throats your warped version of filial irreverence isn't gonna get people to empathies with you, and most definitely not gonna pat you on the back and say "Well done, you.".

What is wrong with sending an elderly bereft of the ability to control of certain bodily function as well as having a few nuts loose up in the head to an old folks home when one cannot afford the time or lack the fortitude to take care of them?

Would they rather the elderlies endure stares laced with thinly veiled contempt stem from their mentally over-stretched guardians and not to mention all the while wallowing in their own lonesome company?

And what's that about denouncing the sons as unfilial bastards when its obvious between saving an old lady already living on borrowed time on the verge of crossing over and saving her own youthful grand daughter who lies dying on some operating table.

Congratufuckalations. You got my point. Or their lack of one.

Carpark Attendent: Eh your movie is so lousy I have to give you a summon.
Hui Ge: Wah lao! A summon!? $*@&! I see like a heap on my car lor! Got toilet paper, diapers and even durian shell!
Carpark Attendent: I'm not the only one that thinks it sucks lor.

2) STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING. I know you need sponsorship to make the filming possible. But at least try not smacking us with it in my face. Your ostentatious attempts made the entire experience even more distasteful if it is entirely possible. Which was not.

Rock bottom is really the lowest end of the vertical scale.

Hui Ge: Die liao lor. My wife and children threw me out after watching the movie.
Lee Guo Huang: You like that call jialat? %&$# My wife tried to stab me 1/2 way through the show lor.
Liang Zhi Qiang: Kao bei lah. Box office so low still wanna talk so much.

3) LEARN TO FUCKING TELL A STORY. The jokes by themselves show much creativity and insight, tickling one's humor gland in a rather pleasing manner. However when they're all thrown in together, the entire story became segmented.

Abrupt beginnings and ends were flying in all direction as a multi phased joke interrupts the primary story with only the most remote connection to the current scene at that point of time.

It steadily progresses into its many subsequent phases but comes to a sudden screeching halt which is shortly followed by the resumption of the main storyline once more.

10 minutes or so later, after you've find yourself once again flowing with the story, another such joke pops in out of the blue and completely throws whatever inkling as to the direction of plot out the window.

How can one ingest a plot that is unrevealed in such a chunky manner without choking on it?

How they themselves looked after watching the movie they starred in.

All in all, I can only square my shoulders, take in a deep breath and say "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo.... oooo... ooo ... oo... o... *Gasp for breath*".

P.S. The blogger is a very opinionated lad that somehow developed a personal grudge against the film. Bottomline is, he really really really hates that movie.

2008-08-10T10:16:00.008+08:00

In light of my queer epiphany brought about by a bout of hangover, I've resolutely decided to put an end to my habit of getting sloshed.

It's not that I'm worried about being burdensome to my mates I get drunk with, since at the end of the day its not their beds I sleep in or their toilet bowls I puke in.

Or the fact the next day after being drunk as a lord usually leaves me as shag a dog. With patches of lost memories from the previous day to boot.

So why give up on my favorite sin you ask? The rather unexpected answer would be in 3 simple letters. M. U. M.

No I'm not drunk now!

I got home from a night spent at Chevron (Again.) with me mates Wei Jian, Dom, Wanyi and Thomas, croaking my throat out behind a mike and soaking up beer like a thirsty camel.

The world kept spinning on random axes and I kept puking my guts out. My mum, awoken by my incessant retching came over with genuine concern on her face and took care of me, rubbing medical oil all over me and making me drink this honey vinegar drink.

Eventually after I've ran out of both bile and strength to puke any further, my mum put me to bed with tenderness that actually kinda moved me.

So fuck it. I'll miss all the senseless but immensely fun times I had while I was drunk. Not that I could remember but I'll miss them all the same.

Incidentally I did a little shopping yesterday!

I have a flair for gross understatements.

2008-08-10T01:01:00.001+08:00

Bile has wrapped itself around my tonsils and nausea overwhelmed me.

Yes I'm very drunk but I gotta say that at least I'm happy the way I am now.

Someone hand me a bucket and let me puke my guts out please.

2008-08-06T12:32:00.016+08:00

As you know that my line of work requires that I partake in an entire week of night shift before switching over to day shift the next week. Imagine having to rinse and repeat that for another 4 years. Argh.

Anyway today's another one of those the very long mornings along with a tiny part of afternoon that preludes before I drag myself to another bout of night shift. With so much time on hand and no feasible way to waste it, I've expectantly fell back on my DVD collections.

And look what I've dug up!

I gotta say that the DVD box has greedily horde up a decent amount of dust.

Yeah yeah I know so stop your yapping. Almost everyone in Singapore is done with this particular drama. But your mainstream comment ain't gonna stop me from neither watching nor enjoying it.

Instead of boring you guys to tears about the compelling quality of the drama, which obviously more than 80% of the population have already experience, some maybe twice or even thrice over, I'm just gonna stick to 1 particular character that I've come to love and adore.

Let me renew your acquaintance with her. I don't give a cow's udder about you already knowing so shut up and read on!

No one said I had to play nice. =)

They look so compatible together don't you think? You better nod 'cos my finger's on the trigger of a shotgun aiming at your head. And smile. That's better.

She plays Han Yoo Joo in Coffee Prince, an ex girlfriend of Choi Han Kyul who came back from New York after a breakup with her then boyfriend, DK. Returning to Seoul, she rekindled the flame of her relationship with Choi Han Kyul and adhering to general sentiments of us viewers, they patched up.

The most endearing quality I found in the role she played was that half way through the entire drama, she somewhat glean an insight into Choi Han Kyul heart and found a little love for Go Eun Chan there, she graciously move on, taking all in her stride. With quiet dignity, she embraced the hurt and smothered it with her love for Choi Han Kyul when most people would have conveniently started a very long episode of hollering and tearing at the first sign of unfaithfulness.

The defining dialogue that filled my heart with ache and brimmed my eyes with tears.

She said: (Chinese) 你只能受他一点点 wor. 不然你就死定!
Subtitles: (English) You can only fall slightly for her. If not you're dead meat!

Even in her moment of anguish she was putting his feeling before her own and tried to convey her slight jealousy as well as mounting insecurity across lightheartedly. Though it brought her much pain, she nonetheless spared him from guilt with her exclusion of her true feelings in her inflection as well as choice of words, going as far as lacing it with humor, albeit it was evidently forced.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T! When I grow up I just wanna be like her! 'Cept without the boobs and with my manhood intact, thank you very much.

Thank god she divorced her husband. Now I stand a chance!!!

For her and her only, a song to match her character's feelings.

我可以忍受

我可以忍受你不够爱我
我可以忍受你有别的梦
就算是编谎话哄我
至少你还在乎我的感受
我可以忍受眼神的空洞
我可以忍受你时间不够用
却不能忍受作了那么多
是她拥有我该得到的温柔

爱着你
是我改不了也不愿改的习惯
要放开哪有那么简单
了解你
是我说不出也不承认的悲哀
包容你
是我体谅的爱别当作应该

我可以忍受你不够爱我
我可以忍受你有别的梦
就算是编谎话哄我
至少你还在乎我的感受
我可以忍受眼神的空洞
我可以忍受你时间不够用
却不能忍受作了那么多
是她拥有我该得到的温柔

爱着你
是我改不了也不愿改的习惯
要放开哪有那么简单
了解你
是我说不出也不承认的悲哀
包容你
是我体谅的爱别当作应该

我可以忍受你不够爱我
我可以忍受你有别的梦
就算是编谎话哄我
至少你还在乎我的感受
我可以忍受眼神的空洞
我可以忍受你时间不够用
却不能忍受作了那么多
是她拥有我该得到的温柔

no.no.no
不要说对不起
原来你要的不是我
不要说谢谢你
什么你永远在我心中
can you tell me why
这样的我你也曾爱过
不是吗

我可以忍受你不够爱我
我可以忍受你有别的梦
就算是编谎话哄我
至少你还在乎我的感受
我可以忍受眼神的空洞
我可以忍受你时间不够用
却不能忍受作了那么多
是她拥有我该得到的温柔

是她拥有我没看过的笑容

That's why one shouldn't watch Korean drama the first thing in the morning. Now all you get is a digusting sappy blogger with mush for a brain.

Bah. Whatever.

2008-08-04T13:36:00.003+08:00

Who really gives a rat's arse about the tediously minute and not to mention irrelevant details of my vacation when we got so much loot to talk about?

Dragged all over Thailand and most of Vietnam in plastic bags big and small, usually stowed in luggage compartment whenever we're jetting, otherwise stacked into a neat corner in hotel rooms, and not to mention being held by many different hands while in transition between the two situations.

Junk for everyone!

Phew.

Finally all that effort has come to some semblence of fruitation as most of them are delievered to their supposed owners. Some even had a smile or two lighting up their faces!

My "zeng-ed" Vietnamese couple.

Dom and Wei Jian grinning from ear to ear.

Happy poseur!

Just a tip for you fervent shoppers hell bent on buying up the entire street, be it for your shopaholic self or as souvenirs for family and friends.

DON'T.

Or you'll end up having oodles of bags of assorted stuff hanging from you and turn into some walking and moaning version of a China Christmas tree.

Like me. LOL.

As always there'll be some gifts that don't get to fall onto the laps of their destined owners yet. Time remains much of a luxury to some while other simply won't be within armshot distance due to some personal reason that YOU HAVE NO BUISNESS KNOWING.

Poor giraffe. Will someone give it a hug?

A wooden note that is more than meets the eye. Not a Transformer lah!

But no. I'm not gonna give them to you just because you're willing to come to my doorstep to get them. And put your clothes back on! Not even such lurid invitation is gonna get you anything. Maybe 'cept you over there lady. =) The rest of you buggers just sit there behind your computer and stay envious.

Good reader. Here's a doggy treat. =)

Saving the best for last, I'm gonna grant you a little peek at the souvenir that I'm proudest of. Feast your eyes on approximately 18 combined hours of painstakingly hand carried shite. From Saigon to Hanoi, Hanoi to Harlong Bay, Harlong Bay back to Hanoi, (Wow. Its getting kinda old eh?) Hanoi to Bangkok and finally from Bangkok back to Singapore, I bring to you "Once Upon a Starry Night".

On the bus in Vietnam. Check out the charming order stuck to the packaging.

Holding it like a moron while waiting to fly my arse outta Vietnam.

The finishing line at long last! Why its home sweet home of course.

Yes, I've named it myself 'cause there ain't any when I bought it. Cheesy but sufficient addequete if you ask me. And I'll presumed you asked (Its my blog so do bear with me). The name itself doesn't seemed to do the picture justice enough so I've written a poem to add that finishing touch (Or muck?) to it.

Once Upon a Starry Night

Here goes nothing so hang on to your partially digested meal!

Silent night, blazing stars
Lovers meet, from afar
Breezy cliffs, swaying sea
Lost in love, just you & me

Too bad it'll go under appreciated. I meant the effort as well as the intent. Everything else I reckon will be absolutely digged by the lucky recipient.

Care to hazard a guess as to who it might be?

2008-07-27T18:19:00.013+08:00

The treasured acquaintance was made onboard a quaint Chinese junk boat bound for a trip deeper into Harlong Bay.

She goes by the name of Ashleigh (Charming name eh?), crowned by a golden mane sculpted with delicately pleasing features and often dashes from one of end of the boat to the other like some psyched up sprite.

Shy at first before we warmed up to each other, her answer to most of our questions were curt but always topped with an enchanting smile. Only after spending nearly a full day together that she finally opened up to us and like a floodgate that burst forth, she buried us neck deep with her silly shenanigans, overwhelming attention as well as seemingly random chatter.

How can our hearts not be captured by one as such? One by one with me as the vanguard, we fell to her infectious charm and thereafter, spent almost the rest of our waking hours on a retrospectively short trip around her like bees drawn to a sweet smelling flower.

Even while on the tedious 3 hours journey back to Hanoi city, she was able to draw all of us out of the warm and comfortable embrace of sleep with her little silly game of pillow war (Traveling type.) which was punctured ever so often by her golden peal of a laughter.

Arh I miss her already.

Oh and by the way, didn't I mention? She's only eight.

No I'm not a pedophile. But I've thoroughly enjoyed toying with your mind.

What I'll admit is that I do love her like a younger sister. Abit uncharacteristic of me, wouldn't you say?

Talk is cheap. Time for some pictures I've sent her. (Yes, we did exchange contact afterall.)

Just me and the little ball of joy.

Me: What's a werd?
Her: A werd is a werd. Jig is a werd, werd is a werd.
Me: (Werd = Word.) ... Oh... Kay...

Getting outta water after kayaking. Before we jump right in again. =)

A chance meeting at the airport after we parted ways.

Bumping into each other again at the airport cafe.

2008-07-23T11:37:00.007+08:00

I'm back on the grid again with a new phone I've laid my grubby little hands on whilst in Bangkok!

Plain as Jane.(No offense to you Jane.)

But slim as a supermodel!

Other than the fact that it's remarkably thin and reasonably light, the phone really grinds my gears.

How about I start from the fact that the default language it comes in is Thai (Wow why are you not supprised.) and I had to spent like a quarter of a day just to hit the right combinations of apparent gibberish to switch it over to English mode.

Serves me right for buying a piece techno crap from some other country, especially one that speaks a whole different language than the ones mine does eh?

Oh and did I mention how laggy it is? A minor demonstration of its processing speed (Or lack of in this case.) would be that I had to wait for nearly three seconds just to unlock the keypad! THREE FUCKING SECONDS! Seriously what is the world coming to when a man have to wait that long just to unlock his keypad?

And for kickers, the user interface is totally messed up. Can anyone explain to me why do I need to press that many a times just to get to my own freaking inbox! Why can't Samsung get its act together or just pilfer the entire setup from Nokia or Sony Erricson?

Jeez. Using the darn thing sends me into a series of fits.

Oh well. Better to die at an early age from all that excessive exasperation and stay connected than live longer as a recluse who's dissimilated from the rest of the civilised world.

2008-07-20T23:34:00.002+08:00

Jerk is back from jetting all over Vietnam and Thailand! Happier than ever and ready to kick life in the balls.

For those who missed the tag that I've posted stating the lost of my mobile phone, do tag/email/msn/friendster/facebook/whatever me your phone number.

I'm not asking. So do it. Now.

*Smiles*

Anyway there are tons of pictures to upload and scores more to blog about. But patience young one. All in due time.

Till I've procrastinated enough to blog, take care mates!

2008-07-11T11:19:00.003+08:00

So I guess this will be the customarily morbid last post that'll I'll always post before I go off the grid.

Be it I step on land mine in Vietnam and blow myself to smithereens or get gutted in some dark alleyway in Thailand by a gang of transvesites and left to die in some refuse choked gutter, these are the things that I wouldn't do even so:

1) Transfer whatever pitiful money I have left to you.

2) Name you the benificery to my *Inserts Smigel's voice* preciousssssss DVD collection.

3) Donate to you my kidneys, cornea and even testicles be it upon my long overdued demise.

But there is one actual perk that'll benifit you greedy gits should I make it back in one piece and kicking.

You'll get souvenirs!

Why wait? Pray for my safety now!

Till then, take care mates and try not to choke on your meals. Really.

2008-07-10T11:07:00.008+08:00

The hustle and bustle at work has died down ever since the absence of a particular frustratingly tedious inspection that reccurs 4 out of 5 a workweek. Blood boiling chore really.

But now with all that free time and pent up boredom up my sleeve, you wouldn't be supprised if you see what I did.

A replica of what I drew on the whiteboard at work. Looks mafia-ish so I related it to Analyse That. Originally named Porkfathers after Godfathers.

From the morons who brought you 'Bar Wars', 'The Hock' & 'Hairy Porker'
comes the next Oscar winning epic production - Analyze Fat

New York Times - "Stunning."
Straits Times - "The absolute best."
The Communist Times - "非常很好看."
The Opposition Times - "Mr Lee why is Mr Chee in Jail?!"

Hahaha! Markers - $2, time spent on nonsensical doodling - $6, the look on my superiors' face - Priceless!

Here's the visual aid for you clueless people about my sense of parodic humor. What can I say? I plead guilty to lameness.

Analyze Fat.

Bar Wars.

The Hock.

Hairy Porker.

2008-07-07T11:46:00.023+08:00

She's a close buddy that I have but whom you seldom heard me mention about (Sorry I'm abit possessive of my candid friend here.).

But I guess its time to drop the veil of secrecy (If any.) and present to you the friend that I'm quite fond of.

She's the babe on the left. Oh and I filch the photo from her friendster, but I know you're not gonna rat on me, are you?

She who has been tangled up in my life ever since that first year in secondary school, both a great listening ear as well as a delicious eye candy, the one and only Mingfen!

*Roaring applause*

I know you're all choking from the excessive drama. But as usual, I don't give a shite.

The question as to why I suddenly brought her up would be one which is fairly simple to explain.

She have just got back from a long vacation spent bouncing all over Europe. Maybe because I'm such a wonderful friend (Right.), we met up a couple of days after her return and she pass me one of the many different souvenirs she bought for all her good friends.

Armed with a rugged charm.

Tada! It's a funky looking felt/suede cap that she bought from Amsterdam, the land of legal vices! Ain't it cool or what!? One more cap for my collection!

Remember, if you ever go for a vacation, buy me a souvenir or don't even bother coming back! =)

2008-07-05T04:45:00.028+08:00

The definitive metrosexual activity (In my honest opinion.) you've all heard I partook in but never really caught me doing it with your own two eyes.

Well here it is so do read your eyes out.

The appointment was set at 6.30pm and it was at Bouna Vista MRT station that I would meet up with my partner in crime. In this case it was my sis.

We do look alike don't we?

A stray thought that came to mind which I've lazily noted is that perhaps this is the only other thing I did with any members of my family besides the annual pain-of-an-ass Chinese New Year house visits.

But you're not interested in the lack of family bonding, are you?

Anyway as the ever current Singapore culture dictates, my sis was late as usual and we started off in a hurried pace soon after her arrival. It was a moderately long walk that made my legs ache just thinking about it. But on the otherhand, the distance ain't that long which made the further taking of any public transport a tad too silly.

So we walked.

Practicing my "in extreme pain" look.

Meaningless small talk tried to fill up the globules of silence that oozes out between people with very different minds while our feets made good time with the distance. A good quarter of an hour passed and we've reach our destination.

A familiar sight for you Holland V goers.

Well this is it. Ground zero.

Laughed my lungs out!

The joint.

Of course I was talking about my eyebrow trimming session. What were you thinking about?

No I'm not gay. Don't deny it 'cause its all your look is telling me. (Yes I have a spycam in your room and I know you're butt naked while reading this.)

Okay I don't have all night so let's just move on.

Located on the 3rd story of this urbanistically edgy shophouse lie a simply furnished salon with an puzzling high count of staff. Cordially one of the staff asked for our names and proceeded with assigning one of their "brow architects" to us.

Quizzally, whilst there were six employees in the joint, only one was attending to us with my sis taking a seat on the rack and me seated behind a partition, awaiting for my share of pain.

And what was the other five buggers doing? Three of those pretty loafers sat behind the counter while the other two gorgous slackers drifted in and out of its adjoining rooms, all seemingly contented in doing nothing in particular! What the fuck?

It was a place filled with bums and I'm felt terribly at home. Hahahaha...

Some 20 minutes later, my sis was up with a slightly satisfied look as she checked out her trimmed brow and I knew I was up next. Awkwardly I got off my butt warmed seat and drag myself over to the rack and I lie there rather quietly, awaiting in anticipation of the impending pain.

The chair of insufferable pain.

Pain did come as hands belonging to the pretty face of the brow architect went to work. At first it was all just dull tugging pain as the upper portion of my brow got plucked and so I just lie there with a smug smile as I took the manageable pain all in my stride. It was only until when she move on the to lower portion of my brow that the real torture began.

My face started to twitch every now and then as a couple of more stubbornly entrenched hair on the brow resisted her efforts a couple of times too many and I guess evident sharp pain flickered on a constant basis across my face.

Despite all that pain, lassitude surprisingly fell upon me. I'd reckon it was in part by the day's wearing (I did came after work you know.) and in part by the sensually calming fragrance wore by the brow architect (She smelled heavenly in such close proximity). It wasn't soon that the pain fell away and I lost track of time.

I couldn't say whether it was an hour or just a mere minute that past but when I awoke and she presented me with a mirror, I saw that I was then the proud owner of a neatly trimmed eyebrow!

A quaint little cafe inside the salon.

Groomed.

I would agree that perhaps a guy indulging in brow trimming is a tad too much for my taste. But I guess that the need for some manner of personal grooming, especially one with a serious case of singlehood as I do, somehow overwhelmed that gnawing fear of the public ridicule that accompanies such vanity.

They say good guys(I'm a good guy 'cause I ain't got vices! Really!) finish last. But I say its either that or they don't finish at all. I know for certain that no one is gonna help me get hooked up with my future wife if I don't help myself at all.

Well, at least I had the balls to admit it. Where's yours?

2008-06-30T13:34:00.004+08:00

It was the time of the month again when my fuzzball of a hair needs to be trim like a bonsai tree.

There's only one thing you can say when an afro hairdo is coupled with a French skinny mustache. Sexy!

So I bounced on over to the neighborhood hair saloon and while seated in one of those swivel chairs waiting for my turn, I saw a new face walking my way with a pair of scissors in hand.

The thought that ran through my mind was "Oh great(Oozing with sarcasm.)! I'm gonna be the training piece for the new chick."

Pardon my indifference to the result of my haircut. It really couldn't get any worse than being butt ugly. LOL and guess what?

Fuck you!

If you thought for a moment I'd wallow in self pity, you really had that coming.

On a serious note, my philosophy when it comes to hair and the subsequent hairdo that follows, is that as long as you don't get shave bald like a monk, you're still within redemption.

The mainstream hairstyles nowadays is somewhat of a controlled mess so more or less any manner of cut is acceptable provided your hair has enough length, mass and tons of wax.

Side's a cap would suffice some manner of vanity these days in the case of anyone of those "oops" shaves or accidental runaway shaver disaster.

So snip and snip she went with her brow creased in concentration while I sat there reading a Lao Fu Zi comic(I'm just sticking with traditions here.), occasionally looking up with a faint amount of amusement, all the while noting that she kept triming over and over the areas that she's been through before.

Suprisingly it ended up looking like this.

Without the inmense weight of my mane, I can now live my life with my head up!

Not too shabby eh? On to the next disaster in life!

2008-06-24T11:14:00.016+08:00

This was the first time that I've went on a deliberately planned outing with my mates at work. Considering that we've know one another for slightly over 2 years, I would say that the trip had a long time coming.

Everything kick started on the wrong foot. The trip to town felt close to awkwardness as the conversation was seemingly dry. Even the usual bantering which is a common remedy for such uncomfortable situations, was screeching with friction.

Well that's what happens when you try to rojak people with vastly different character together on a short notice.

Anyway the trip there didn't take too long and soon we were on our way to Lucky Plaza to meet up with Master Mervin, a fellow NDI specialist from Changi.

Really only use for 1 time meh?

Trying for fit.

Apparently Ruilong was gonna buy a pair of scuba goggles from him as well as buying another pair as birthday gift for Xueting.

By the time we reach the meeting place, Master Mervin was already there on the scene. Introductions were more than brief even though Ah Tok has never really met the guy before, both their disinterest in knowing one another were hanging so thick in the air that I would have choked if not for the hastening of Master Mervin.

We made our way into a shop that I supposed Master Mervin frequents and aided Ruilong along with the shopkeeper in choosing the pair of suitable goggles for Xueting.

All about sucba diving and more!.

It took quite awhile thus leaving me and Ah Tok to our own shenanigans. I started taking our my camera more than it was socially accepted, only to find that Ah Tok surprisingly approving of my quirk and posing for me!

One can see that great effort and thoughts had been put behind the naming of the shop. Not.

Wannabe diver.

Pufferfish with a pair of goggles?

Wow a nice fit! And the colour suits him as well!

Even a shopping Ruilong cannot resist making fun of Ah Tok.

The choosing and the subsequent haggling were kept to a minimal and before me and Ah Tok's can make our way to the dumber spectrum of poses, the purchase was made and Master Mervin had to go.

Feeling satisfied and extremely hungry, Ruilong, Ah Tok and me wandered the floors of Lucky Plaza for a suitable place to have more than just a bite.

A picture with the boogeyman.

I think my looks scares even the boogeyman.

I can sell you my own homemade one at just $1!

Yummy!

Having accomplishing the main agenda of the trip which was the buying of the birthday gift, we made our way to Taka to do a little shopping of our own.

First stop was to Kinokuniya where Ah Tok bought a Jap fashion magazine of some sort while me and Ruilong went about flipping through ripped open comics.

Ah Tok wanders what the fuck were the cashiers doing!?

No really it was already ripped when we got there. Oh shut your face.

Next stop was pretty unexpected as we stepped into a art gallery. At first glance one would thought that various artwork would at most cost not beyond a few thousands, given our gauge of their standard. And like what they say about first glances, all of our guess were wrong!

The cheapest shite in there was at least a whopping five thousand tagged to a queer stool? What the fuck is wrong with artist and rich people?

We did however took a long look see around the joint before walking out in slight awe at some very artistic piece but more in disgust at their prices.

The place where I met Eléonore.

Then it was to Gramophone for me with some DVD shopping long overdued. My mind was having a wrestling match of its own as I couldn't decide whether to buy Jumper with lensitopic cover or the special edition The American Gangster. On top of which I was going to buy Juno and Cashback which totals up to around a hundred.

Ouch says the wallet.

My proud additions to my collections.

Cool or what!?

In the end I dump the idea of buying both Jumper and The American Gangster and stuck to Juno and Cashback instead.

If judgment day should come and god asks me what are my thoughts about wasting my life buying and watching dvd, my answer would be "life well spent!".

There's no use in reasoning with me. I know.

Anyway being so conveniently close the Papa Bread, I couldn't resist but drag the rest over and stuff my face with a chocolate éclair! Incidentally, it rouse the sated hunger just abit and compelled the rest to satisfy their sin of a glutton with Ruilong buying yogurt (Yucks!) and Ah Tok buying some Tori-Q for everybody.

Hands filled with all sorta food, we crossed a short but crowded distance into cold storage. Eating and and laughing nonsensically at the same time, we spent some time in there and did some small time grocery shopping, buying a little of this and a little of that. And of course, taking pictures whenever socially possible.

Posing with wry faces.

We act as though it was any good.

Which we thought not!

One big bowl of Jap instant noodles cost this much.

But how come both the smaller ones cost as much!?

I'm a trifle bit embarrassed to say this but after we concluded the shopping minute spree at Cold Storage, we agreed that it was time to rest our legs somewhere we could sit down and chit chat for abit. Thus we popped over to Pepper Lunch which was kinda the only place with seats still free from the Saturday throng.

In order to get in and sit, one would have to either be extremely thick skin to just buy a drink or side dish (Or maybe even not.) and take up the well needed space or one could order a set meal just eat like what every other sucker was doing. Having good upbringing made us incline towards to the latter and so, we ate again.

I know I'm getting horizontally enlarged. Tell me about it.

At least try not to droll on yourself.

I was bored.

Somehow or another, the topic of getting a drink at Chevron dropped into our conversation and was slightly enthusiastic agreed upon in a short manner of time. I largely suspect it has got to do with someone feeling a wee bit depress over some matters of the heart.

But I ain't gonna discuss it with you.

Again we boarded the train bound for our next destination. Looking back at the day that came to be so far, I've noticed that the seams that seperate us so contrastingly and cause us such awkwardness were hardly evident any longer. The feeling in the air then was like a couple of old friends(Not literally you dope.) getting together.

The traveling time fled in the face of tons of bantering and its consequential laughter and before we know it, we were at Chevron, drinking up a storm.

Happiness in pints!

Cheers!

Supprisingly a couple of other people whom we know turned up there as well. Talk about conincidence. I guess cheap karaoke couple with likewise beer is a lethal marketing combination.

I see Louis at work and now I even see him outside of it. There is just no escaping from him.

That bugger Dom was stalking me.

I guess nowadays stalking is a group activity 'cause Carol was there too!

My recollection of that night is somewhat hazy but I did remember blabbering alot. What did I actually said was hard to say. I just hope I didn't offend too many people with my crudely truthful speech.

Words of wisdom. With enough beer, any night could be a great night! Till the next drink, tata!

2008-06-20T22:25:00.005+08:00

Everything began as innocently as any ordinary late night birthday BBQ was expected to be. Guests, both conspirators as well as the victims, streamed in by pairs and and got the BBQ started.

The two disgustingly loving lovebirds.

Sandra and her bitch of a Thomas. Hahaha..

Dom and Carol hitting the scene.

Our long lost brudders, Sam and Weisheng!

Victims-to-be. Smile you suckers! Wuhahaha..

The start of a very long and awfully messy night for the intended, and a wickedly fun night for rest.

*Insert sinister laughter*

Hot dogs crisped while prawns in aluminum foil bubbled in their marinates and sweet potatoes toasted amongst the glowing hot charcoal. Soon cooked and overcooked (Norm in any of our BBQs. ) food filled and mingled on plates, only for a moment or two before being gulped down by some hungry buggers who just eat but never cook.

A hungry mob raids the table of food.

Who needs a lighter when you've got red hot charcoal!

Don't feint ignorance and look around. Every soul knows that when I say "hungry buggers who just eat but never cook", I meant you two, Gimo and Wanyi! Wuahahaha..

Though it was I who wouldn't let them cook their own shite as they were the birthday peeps. But still isn't a good enough reason to stop blaming them, right?!

Soon all that were supposed to be there were there and with no further delay (As well as no more food to BBQ!) the cake was secretly taken out of Dom's car boot. Its candles were then lit and its bearer marched a stately pace towards the the two dumbshites who were smiling in both beaming delight and feint surprise, all whilst the ever traditional "Happy Birthday" song were sung.

A combined celebration calls for a combined cake.

Gimo: Eee! Your hand got wash or not?

Gimo: Okay lah I also didn't wash mine.

Sausage fest!!!

Gal power!

Spot the extra.

Wanyi: I wish for a uber rich and dashing boyfriend!
Us: Eh you already got 1 and he's super rich and dashing lor!
Wanyi: Oh my god!!! My wish came true!
Us:...

Gimo: How I wish my friends would stuff freezing cold ice cubes down my pants.

Dom never ever lets such weird wishes go unrealised.

All this seemingly pleasant and joyous facade of a celebration conjured by us schemers were to lure the two unfortunate victims into sedation, paving way for the highlight of our day (And the rock bottom for theirs).

In a smooth and practiced-like move, the bags of flour which was initially stowed away from plain sight was brought out into open, much to the maniacal joy of many. Empty hands soon dipped in the ripped bags and out came hands clasped around loose flour. In that same few moments, the faces of the intended showcased an amazing myriad of emotions, starting from shocked to dreaded anticipation and ultimately settling at that of resignation.

From what initially started as a campaign against the two birthday peeps soon degraded into random and opportunistic pelting of flour, smashing of cake and splashing of beer onto one another, making sludge sculptures out of both conspirator and victim alike.

But the beer's innocent!

Top 3 casualties!

As with every mess comes the inevitable and much dreaded cleaning up, a point proven by the apparent dragging of celebrants' beer soaked feet across the flour speckled grass towards the toilet.

Beer definitely helps the situation. Alot.

Ambush!

Why me!? *Flees*

For those of you dumbshites who thought the worse was over the moment the last can of beer was splashed and last grasp of flour was thrown, you seriously deserve the title thou bestowed upon thee.

Even our beloved Wanyi can tell you that flour coupled with almost any liquid always produces agonizingly sticky results. And just to make matter worst, fudgey chocolate cake was thrown in (Literally.) for good measure!

And to think I endearingly call Wanyi idiot. So what does that make you, especially since my sentiments doesn't really stretch that far as to include you?

Lets leave it at that shall we?

Anyway the end of the celebration was still far off into the night and any putting off of the cleaning almost guarantees as much ridicule as discomfort in the wee hours to come.

Driven by the nagging urge to rid their bodies of the sticky goo, the celebrants went about the cleaning expediently. Some were tearing off paper towels and wiping their cake smeared while others washed off flour powdered heads under running facets.

Unfortunately for the latter, water did little to remove the hardened globules of dough stuck onto the hair, other than wetting their heads and everything else beneath them. Brute force in pulling those hardened lumps on the otherhand proved only marginally better, except that all who attempted gave up, evidently overwhelmed by the sheer amount of lumps as well as tremendous pain in removing each one.

All she needs a rake and some industrial strength solvent. And a wig after she's through with them.

One look at them and you know they're asking for more!

Gimo: OUCH!

All in all, I would say that the choice in using flour was a good one!

The subsequent pace of the celebration followed a lazier beat as all that effort in fleeing and chasing finally caught up with us. Luckily for them the inevitability was well taken into account during planning. With a grin, we produced out a pack of cards and played our all time kelong favorite, HEART ATTACK!

Perhaps you may think we're childish, but I am sure as hell not giving a shite as to what you think. *Grins*

Lets RUMBLE!

Actually she smells heavenly but that's no reason to not pose with a sickened face.

Fucked up people who deserve each other.

Smack and smack we went, punctuated with the occasional yelps of pain from some unfortunate soul getting their hand whacked into too crimson a hue and of course, who can forget the howls of laughter from the rest who escaped.

But the night wore on and lassitude eventually crept up on all of us, smothering our focus at the game and seeded thoughts of home and bed in all of us. But years of friendship has taught us one thing, and that is to never ever let any birthday peeps get away without first stomaching the traditional Birthday Cocktail!

Acting like an idiot. Oh wait, I am.

Already grinning away even before they suffer.

Weisheng: Such a small bottle only!?

Even our peace loving Carol showed no mercy!

The finale of the entire celebration came in the form of a toast made by Wanyi and Gimo to the celebrants and accompanied by a symphony of jeers, cheers and laughter, they bravely gulp down the concoction. With the wry gagging face that followed their struggled swallow comes the end of their birthday party.

Still looks fairly drinkable.

A priceless look.

Courage in the face of imminent suffering.

I know we're fuckers. But we're seriously enjoying it!

Cheers!

Seeing her like this really made my day.

Glad I'm not him!

My dysfunctional family of friends.

Whose birthday's next?

2008-06-12T01:51:00.011+08:00

Be swept back to nearly 3 weeks ago, to the start of the prelude to Gimo's and Wanyi's annual tragedy when me, Wanyi and Dom rendezvous at Orchard one mundane weekday.

Just plain old me.

Happy people that I'm happy to know.

The agenda in mind were to find a venue for the joint celebration as well as seek out presents for the 2 unfortunate victims.

Unfortunate is still too much of an understatement considering their suffering in retrospect! I am so sorry but I can't help myself but to snicker at the thought of their plight.

But I shall not spoil the fun by telling you now! Beg me more and I might consider. NOT! Wuhahahaha!

Dinner was the first order of the day and so dinner we had. Much was discussed but little was accomplished between those interludes when our individual dishes were served separately. However despite the lack of progress, we had a merry time chatting and pilfering from each others' plates.

The name suggests something along the lines of baked rice with tons of cheese! Yucks!

Looks good and taste ain't far off.

Seeing that perhaps we've met up abit too late, we prudently left after our mouth watering desert and head out over to Takashimaya to source out a suitable gift for Gimo.

The first soufflé that I ever laid my taste buds on. More please!

On and on we stalked from shelf to shelf, always looking around hoping to chance upon some trinket of interest, and at the same time racking our brains and scourging our memories for clues as to what Gimo might want. As luck have it, we didn't take too long to find the perfect gift for our sweet toothed buddy.

Walk walk.

Why don't they just rob us at knife point?

I need to ebay my kidney to buy it.

Yay! Something that's nearer to its percieved price.

We didn't forget about Wanyi okay!

Of course we neither discussed nor later shopped for what we're to buy for Wanyi with her. We're dumb but not that dumb. But nonetheless we did kept an eye out for her gift as well

Feeling that at least some burden have been lifted from us organizers' shoulders, we called it a day and went around shopping for our own shite since it was the Great Singapore Sale.

Shoppers unite!

Lian leh!

Take that chopstick outta your hair!

Yes us men actually need to shop! Wipe that surprised look for your face. You're starting to embarrass me with your stone age thinking!

Anyway disappointment was hardly felt as we left the thorough shopped departmental store even though all 3 of us left with hands as empty as when we entered. It's not like we didn't know Taka has little to sate our shopping needs in the first place.

To Wanyi, its almost always too early to head home from town and so me and Dom went along and stayed on, wandering the thinning streets of Orchard. Perhaps age was catching up with us, for we soon felt fatigue seeping in after just a couple hours of shopping and eventually headed to a nearby Coffeebean to chill. Gimo who just happened to be in the vicinity joined us a long while later for a drink and some company.

My Mocha Frappuccino and her ice blended something. LOL!

Leecher! Hahaha =p

Talk about smug look.

We should never pass the chance to take an artsy shot now should we?

And so that night ended with all 4 of us debating on the bus 143 all the way home.

A thought though. Wanyi lives in Bukit Panjang so you can see the reason for my bewilderment towards why she took a bus that goes nowhere near her home. Maybe she did explain to me but I'm not surprised if I forgot it altogether.

Okay so let me fast forward a couple of days after that, during which constructive planning and late night scouting took place, to the actual day of celebration.

Did I mention that the celebration was to be held in the form of a late night BBQ at West Coast? Well if its anyone's fault, its yours since you didn't ask!

Alright, alright. I know a face contorted by curiosity when I see one. Lets just leave it at that certain individuals faced differing time constraints that ultimately shaped our choice.

You know who you are and I BLAME YOU! I'm kidding of course. What's there to really whine about since West Coast is soooo near my house. Next thing you know, one of the criteria I'll look for in a girlfriend is her home's proximity to mine! Wuhahahaha!

Okay let me stop the digressing and get on with it.

So it went that me, Dom, Carol and Wei Jian took it upon ourselves to host the celebration and as of result met up at IMM hours before the start of it all. Charcoal, utensils, various bottles of drinks, an assortment of mainstream BBQ food and the ever quintessential cake were purchased and loaded onto Dom's car.

Where did the portable BBQ pit went to anyway since we never had the chance to use it?

Push slave, push!

The response I got when I asked him to pose for a picture.

Eh not free one hor!

Sai kan crew of the day!

Oh and we bought beer. Lots of it. Never start a party without sufficient alcohol. Such crime against humanity would not be tolerated. LOL!

20 minutes of driving later and we arrived in the under lit car park at West Coast and proceeded to finally bring to fruit our many hours of planning, discussion and procurement at staging area of a BBQ pit.

The best choice we made in the light of practicality.

Each of us went about our own task from washing the squid, marinating the prawns to starting fire. All was accomplish in slightly over half an hour and all that was left was the wait for the other guest to arrive.

Chefs at work!

But there's always time for a picture!

Wow we've got a good fire going.

And who did it? HAHAHAHAHA!

With that marks the end of the prelude and the begining of some seriously wicked fun!

2008-06-11T09:21:00.003+08:00

*Inserts Britney's vocals" Oops I did it again.

I really could neither resist nor refuse her. Guess that's abit of too much feelings involved on my part.

Okay now I hate myself too. Someone just shoot me.

Anyway the post about Gimo's and Wanyi's birthday party should be up pretty soon. That is if I could stay on course and not go detouring about.

Till my next cockup, tata!

2008-06-08T11:31:00.003+08:00

I resent:

The fact that even talking to you makes me happy.

The fact that no matter how hard I try to shut you out of my mind, you'll still find a way back in.

The fact that I'll always be tempted to sms you when you don't sms me.

The fact that the thought of you dating some other guy drives me crazy.

The fact that I tried so very hard to resist the urge to pop into your Friendster or Facebook to see what have you've been up to.

The fact that I'll always read too much into our conversations to find clues for your feelings for me.

The fact that being out with you makes whatever importance the rest of the world holds fade way.

The fact that I'll always make time for you despite whatever I was or will be doing.

The fact that I'll fall for you again and again, whenever you make an entrance into my life after my feelings for you weakens into a bitter aftertaste.

The fact I daydream about life with you as my girlfriend.

The fact that I really like you.

Oh, do fuck off. I so very hate you.

2008-06-01T22:05:00.016+08:00

With much anticipations built up over the weeks of waiting, our kelong trip finally came to be on the day after my wonderful 2 day gig at Swissotel.

I was this shag at 4 in the morning.

Her chaperon for the trip.

So early and already so fierce.

K.O.!

Planned with the thought of skipping the early morning altogether in mind, we set off at 5am in the morning, give or take a quarter of an hour or so, abroad a rented minibus (Driver's included.). Speedily the bus made its way across the Causeway towards Malaysia where our kelong lie in wait.

As are with most planning, ours failed and consequentially we got stuck in the jam. Still our moods were far from dampened as we merrily jested and bantered on aboard our ride, awaiting for the tide of near stationary vehicles to inch forward towards the checkpoint. Inch is perhaps too much of an overstatement if you were there but we did made it in this lifetime after all.

The surviving guys. Sleep is for pussy.

First bite of the day.

So hungry that none really wanted to pose for the pics.

Gimo caught in the act of stealing other's food. REALLY!

The landscape rolled on by and on as our transport drove on, through the packed major roads in the busy city, eventually ventured into emptier minor ones nearing the fringe of the city and finally onto an obscured side road into the countryside.

Waking up on a bus to a sight like this makes you wonder did you die in an accident and gone up to heaven? And if so, where's Elvis?

Excitement grudgingly made way for sleep as our lack of it finally caught up with us. In and out of slumber we slipped before we were all awaken by the halt that marked the end of the somewhat too long a journey to the jetty.

A packed jetty. But why?!

Everyone.

So off the bus and onto the boat we went. It was a sun filled 30 minutes ride filled with rocking and swaying and punctuated frequently by the spraying of seawater onto our faces. The ride came to a uneventful end as the boat glided to a near stop at the jetty side of the kelong.

Poseur or poseur?

Me and Dom clowning around.

Again the 3 musketeers.

First artsy shot of the trip!

Atop the kelong was a culture shock that was pending explosion. And it totally blew us away the moment we sunk our eyes on the surrounding. That's especially true for the ladies less Sandra and her mum who've been through it before.

The crash pads.

The toilet ain't that bad. Taken into consideration that its the nearest one. The next is like an hour away.

100% natural bio waste treament and disposal which the fish in the water underneath the bottom of the toilet eat our shite and we eat them in return. A vicious cycle if you ask me.

After all that, could anyone tell me that Wanyi's not sian. I don't think so.

Languages were hastily dumped, with beds chosen in a similar manner and off the enthusiastic headed to the fringes of the kelong to reel in all that fish that's awaiting us while the shocked linger around their belongings as though clinging to the last remanents of their urban lives.

Thomas's first tourist shot.

How can I be left out then?!

Guess both Wanyi and Dom wants in on the touristic action too!

First catch! Ever!

Taken with the fish I caught!

Still mine.

Okay he got lucky. Bah!

Wow there's really alot of fish in the water eh?

Even the lazy Gimo fished!

My first big catch. I'm not even impressed.

The name on the paper isn't asking for seconds, its really the name of Sandra's dad. REALLY!

Fishing and mahjong pretty much was what the first day was about. But that was just the beginning!

The subsequent day held much promise with me waking up to a magnificent view of the sea, caressed by cooling sea breeze and surrounded by slumbering friends. How much better could one's life get?

Wish you could wake up to this every morning, no?

If you ask them what was the most they saw while on the kelong, the answer you'll get is "the back of our eyelids".

I did found just how much better it gotten as the day aged on with Dom, Wanyi, Thomas, Sandra and me heading to the beach. With the prevalent view while atop the boat heading for the beach, we expected nothing more than just a sleepy and sparsely littered beach, in which a dip in its water was just to complete our touristic perception of kelong lifestyle.

When they say that the grass is always greener on the other side, I never thought it would cross from the realm of figurative speech in to real life. Never did we expect that the view from the beach from the other side of the isle could be so different yet physically so near.

An extremely helpful fellow Singaporean lady took this for us 'cause I never bring along my camera. In case you're wondering, my camera isn't water-proofed you asshole. There, I felt much better.

And that Singaporean lady kept her promise and sent me the photos! WTF is wrong with the world?! Why are people keeping their promises!?

It was complete with blindingly white sand, relatively huge rolling waves and greenery filled island in the backdrop. Like a scene pluck out from the tomes of fairy tales, all of us stood rooted to the spot, enchanted by the sight for a moment. The compulsion to throw ourselves into the alluring waters however broke through our state of awed and soon we were wet.

We spent almost half the afternoon frolicking in the water and having a blast of a time. However the fun had a price and pay did us guys did. Thomas and Dom both whom already were carrying sunburn was reddened by the hours spent in the embrace of the sun.

Ouch. It hurts to be Thomas. Literally.

Me? I was blackened to the brink of a racial change. It was that bad. But hell if time would roll back and give us a chance to choose again, it would be without say that we would have made that same decision that led us to that state then.

Don't laugh! I'll fried you till your charcoal black and see how you like it!

Thinking that the day for us beach goers would end early, a thought inspired by our flaccid limbs, all of us reluctantly bid the place goodbye and took the ride back to the kelong with nearing no conceivable expectation for anymore fun.

Life really went outta its way to prove me wrong yet again. But who's complaining.

It started off as a simple birthday surprise for Sandra's mum. Birthday song filled the air, slices of cake went around and into watering mouths and last but never the least, booze and liquor was sipped rather noisily as we sat around doing nothing much but enjoy the midnight breeze and each other's company.

Old friends that I'm thankful for.

Always together!

Chocolate ice cream poisoning! Someone call the medic!

BBQ at night, every night!

Dom: Yes I won!!! Erm... but what did I win?

Jianwei: Can I stop winning please? *Rolls eyes*

Happy birthday to aunty!!!

Family shot. Not as in bleeding from gunshot wounds you moron.

One beer always unfailingly led to another and before long most of us were tipsy and laughing at nearly everything. So senseless we became that we contested Sandra's dad to a drinking competition which was reduced into just senseless drinking on each individual's part and inevitably, we all got sloshed!

Alcohol is just happiness in a ready-to-consume and bottled form, says the drunkard.

Thomas has such an amazing bladder size that it puts the combine size of Singapore's reservoirs to shame!!!

The last thing I remembered was feeling a slight tinge of regret after throwing up the delicious chocolate cake and slipping quietly into bed while the rest of them mahjonged the night away.

Bane of sleep.

That is just about as good as life could be. At least for me. Booze, friends and and a good place to hang is all one needs. Of course having a loved one around would be splendid but I'm just glad that I have what I have.

The final day was really was a cocktail of mixed feelings. I guess I speak for all of us when I say that part of me felt the faint wisp of regret for leaving that paradise of place while the other part yearns for the resumption of my life. So it was in that turmoil of emotions that we ate our breakfast, pack up and headed back to mainland.

And I say hey! What a wonderful time today.. Where we could all learn to work and play.. And get along with each Arthur!

Ain't she happy or what? Give me back my cap idiot!

Couldn't leave without taking a pic with the friendly lady who had been so nice to us!

Poseurs in shades.

Sisters for life!

Let our armpit odor combine!

The full stop of the trip came in the form of a near spectacular lunch at a fancy restaurant in a surprisingly run down portion of the city. If it did affect our appetite in the slightest, we didn't really show as we gouge our way through the different courses with passion nearing gluttony.

Wipe your drool off the keyboard dude.

Of all days to be vegetarian, Wanyi choosed to be one on the same day as the feast. Well more for us then!

It was 3 days full of fabulous chow, wonderful scenery, tons of beer and most importantly, kick-ass company! Encore please?

2008-05-28T10:58:00.008+08:00

I made my way on a somewhat hotter than usual Friday afternoon for the same place as the day before for the actual event.

The day started around the same it was on Thursday, with us bummers bumming around again, but there's only that much of bumming around we could do and it was already done on Thursday. We were a step away from absolute boredom.

Wah lao wanted to take photo with just the pretty lady on the left. So many extras =p

Luckily for us, Master Lim who's our batch boy, so happens to be in possession of the key to a 47th floor suite "invited" us up to take a look see, promising us phenomenal views and making us promise in return to keep it on the low key at the same time.

Pretty decent looking beds

What!? No coffee making machine?

The defining room of a suite.

It was anything but a wasted side trip. For us it was an emotional roller coaster ride as awe inspired by the magnificent view turned to sheer terror of a long fall off the balcony promised by such heights, only to be buried under an avalanche of serenity when the beauty of the entire sight as a whole sank into us.

Singapore's big wheel of a money churner.

Our durian.

Suntec looks puny from my view up there.

The monument of war has nice landscaping done around it eh?

Me, Davin and Freddy with the amazing backdrop!

And not to forget, Master Lim my batch boy, who made all the taking of the shots possible!

Good times always seemed to reach a premature end as the sight seeing was rudely halted by a phone call informing us that we're to be expected for a briefing. Talk about bad timing.

Re-emphasize was made over and over again over the more important points of our role, but much fell on deaf ears as the roles we played wasn't anyway as hard as the I/Cs thought. We're not that incompetent.

Did I mention I was in charge of marshaling people with the same coloured stickers up their corresponding coach, board it and play an introductory CD and marshal the same people back off the ride? How hard can that really be, seriously?

Anyway the great failure of an event began soon after an early dinner. Even the dinner itself was a failure of a $15 dollar meal. I guess failure's contagious after all.

This shite doesn't even cost anywhere near $2 in my opinion. And it taste horrendous to boot.

Cock-ups were served promptly our way, starting with our coaches going missing. Followed by a spoil introductory CD and finished up with guests of different cramming up the same coach and viola, the failure of all the long hours of elaborate planning was complete.

Evidence of how free we were!

A very well taken artsy shot of the Swissotel if I may say so myself. And I may 'cause this is my freaking blog.

I just love the sky.

Oh well.

A few ferries between Singapore Flyer and Swissotel and my semblance of a job was done. So back I went to the hotel bar, soaking up glasses of orange soft drinks, while waiting for the climatic moment when we're released from all the nonsense.

That moment did came but not before something else much better was announced. 100+ Singapore Flyer tickets which was left over by guest who didn't took the ride was to be given to us. What luck!

The 35 minute ride wasn't as breathtaking as it should be, especially with most of us tired by long hours of cerebral inactivity due to our respective duties. Nonetheless we made the best of what life dumped onto our laps and took tons of picture!

Singapore's skyline.

Amazing view of Suntec City area.

Who goes to play golf so late into the night? I won't if you ask me.

Another pseudo artsy shot I've taken.

I name this photo "Silently in Love, Lost in the City". Poseur or what!?

Freddy, his girlfriend, me and Davin. Happy people having a fantastic time.

The 3 musketeers!

Proof that I was there.

Lovers in the semi darkness.

And people who're not lovers in the semi darkness.

Who turned on the lights?

Yes we're bored enough to take similar shots with flash and without.

Yes would be my answer to your unspoken thoughts on both accounts. Yes I know the ride on the Singapore Flyer is booked all the way till next year and yes I know you're envious so I'm trying my best to rub it in your face (Especially Wanyi's. =p).

Sadly I parted ways with Freddy and Davin and made my way to Holland Village to meet up with Wanyi, Wilfred, Eliz and her boyfriend (Sorry I can't remember his name) for some wine.

We chilled, chatted, drank and had ourselves a hell of a great time. It was too bad I couldn't really appreciate white wine, or any wine for that matter. But all in all it was still an appropriately relaxing note to end a fabulous night as such on.

Psst! She's posing 'cause I know she can't read! HAHAHAHA!

*Clink*

Its my first time seeing the ice bucket used in real life. Was I in a movie or something?

A very big wine chiller. Looks artsy too!

But wait, the long weekend that follows after this particular Friday is even better! (I keep saying that!)

2008-05-26T00:52:00.023+08:00

I'm in a pensive state of mind so do bear with me.

I've just left much of the humid night outside after returning home from a reccon mission for Wanyi's and Gimo's birthday presents in Orchard. There'll be a post on the outing but this is not directly about it.

But rather its about a heated discussion about some private matter that you have no fucking business knowing so don't bother asking.

We argued to and fro for like the past 1 and a quarter of an hour from Centre Point's Macdonalds all the way back to Teban gardens. Although it was inevitable that all our discussion as such changes little of the shite we talk about, I felt better and worst, all at the same time for once in so many a month.

In a warped way, discussions as such are our only avenue to exercise my mind, when one can maneuver and outmaneuver my opponents in speech and advance the ideals or thoughts we champion.

Add heated feelings into the mixed and it pretty much pushed the mind to the next level. I for one started to see a myriad of angles of approach to overcome difficult opposing stands, different ways of mental entrenchment of my propagations and clearer view on the lines of thoughts of others.

Lucidity honed my mind and it felt good.

But as a kicker (A kick in the balls kinda kicker.), the topic of discussion involved a matter so close to the heart of a even closer friend of mine that it made me felt like a disgustingly cold bastard for even having that mental capacity to think as such.

Of course I didn't try to exploit it and attempt to win at a conversation to satisfy some deep seated egoistic need. I've stopped that since secondary school. I sincerely wanted to help, to effect even the tiniest change in this impossible world.

As if all that wasn't bad enough, I came to the realisation that through the discussion I've let on more than I should and am comfortable with.

I rather be seem as a badly dressed, witless and lame simpleton than a badly dressed, witless and lame otherwise. Its harder to be hurt that way.

Whatever.

On a lighter note, that discussion granted me a view of a greater rift of differences than that I would have anticipated between the thinkings of my friends and me. Though it changes little in our friendship, it however did bring into focus the my moral upbringing. Or the lack of it for this matter.

As I pen this down I feel my lucidity slipping out of my grasp. Its not really a bad thing. Lesser and blunter thoughts almost equals to a happier frame of mind. So do be happy for me.

The world has very little use for people with morals and even lesser use for people who are without. So where does that leave us?

*Edited for coherency and structure*

2008-05-25T17:42:00.006+08:00

Keeping in mind the fact that the person you love but isn't yours for now and will, eventually, end up with someone other than you whom she'll love enough to get married with.

And for that matter, gets married to that person and thus ending all your hope of being with her.

Would you want to try harder now to archieve the improbable?

Or will you still sit there typing away on your own blog?

2008-05-22T17:50:00.009+08:00

I've definitely had a better workweek than most of you dogs out there, especially since for me work was actually only done from Monday to Wednesday! Oh yeah!

A sight I've seen often but never did capture.

Thursday started off at 2pm for me at Swissotel at Raffles City. The meeting room which I was supposed to show up was hidden amongst other rooms tucked along a quiet corridor. Finding it took the better part of a quarter of an hour.

Didn't I mention I was 'volunteered' to do fatigue (An euphemism for shite) work for the then coming 39th ALO Dinner.

A ponderous thought though, how can anyone be volunteered by anyone else? Warped is the word that comes to mind.

Whatever.

So in I went into the room with a nod of acknowledgment from the guy that sat himself outside, to be greeted by faces that filled with boredom as I found myself a place to sit down and subsequently whipped out my trusty o'Hellgate story book and read it. For the second time.

Which cam whore can resist taking a photo such as this?

More people starting to stream in from time to time, with none of the face too familiar until Zhua Long (Paper bag in Hokkian) came along. So we bitched about our respective workplace abit before Davin and Freddy hit the scene.

Catching up is second nature next to sleeping in such situation and so we made the best of the half of an hour, chatting and bantering, before the actual briefing started.

No, we're not a boyband.

The briefing went blar blar blar blar blar... Not really worth mention especially after seeing its futility in retrospect.

And around 5pm give or take, we're released from our slavery. Freddy was nice enough to offer me a ride in his gorgeous white Jazz complete with red and black leather interior, to Bukit Batok for my dental appointment. The first dental visit since what, Secondary school? Hahahaha...

Only to visually realise along the way that the dental clinic was at Bukit Gombak. I am the essence of forgetfulness.

It was anything between 5 to 30 minutes of pure pain. Pain for this matter has a way of altering my perception of time for most, rendering what lasted only mere seconds to somewhat bordering on forever. Or vise versa.

The house of pain.

I layed down on the dentist chair like a docile dog, at the same time unable to take my eyes off this gorgeous chick cum assistant, awaiting my fate at the hands of the cruel dentist.

Bits of my gum flew along with drops of blood onto the face shield of dentist as I whiten my knuckles through the grip on the arm rest of the chair.

Just when I reached my threshold for gore and pain, it was over and I had whiter teeth! But my wallet was $50 bucks thinner when I left the joint. Why do I even have to pay to be inflicted such pain? Grr...

Look at the teeth and not anywhere else you pervert.

Mouthwash or industrial strength floor cleaner? Looks more like the latter if you ask me.

The day continued on with dinner with Dom and Wanyi at town, at Cineleisure's Hongkong cafe that in my opinion, we've frequent too much. And to make things even worse, Wanyi was approached by the manager for her number which she gave, and without much hesitation might I add, only for me to find out from her that she gave him her old unsubscribed number. Tough luck, dude.

A dancing giraffe. Something that'll put a wide grin to her face.

Us losers. Again.

The chow. So terrible that I'll pay even more not to eat them.

Act cute or what!?

I know you can't help but get turned on. So fuck off.

Popeye faced and looking like a drug addict.

Caught in the act?

Stomaches filled but the night far from over, we took Dom's ride and head for Bukit Timah area for some pool. It's been way too long since we've last played ball. With so many things that's ever changing in mind, our skill, or lack of it, was unfortunately constant. The balls seem to be going everywhere 'cept where we want them to be.

Arbish.

Trying to be artsy here.

She's so bad it, she laughs at herself.

Jianwei: Hrm... Where does this ball goes?

Dom: Wah nubshite you need a map or something to place them properly arh?

Real man looks fierce while playing pool. Like in this picture.

Pussies on the other hand looks like this. HAHAHHAHA! Kidding o'boy don't burn me house down.

Thus with a scroll, too many minutes of reading and you've been through my wonderful Thursday.

But wait, the Friday's even better!

P.S. Neither me nor Wanyi actually smokes. 'Nuff said.

2008-05-17T04:50:00.001+08:00

And Jerk is off to Malaysia for his weekend trip!

If he doesn't comes back, he wants all to know that he loves all of you.

If he does, he wants all to know that he lied.

Hahahaha! Hang loose!

2008-05-10T03:19:00.008+08:00

It has been far too long since I've last seen Celine, a mistake I've rectified when I joined Wanyi on a visit to her new home at Tampiness.

As a good friend that I always am, I didn't even know she moved from her Woodland home for months. Jeez.

Never visit empty handed.

Then again if the food looks like this, its better to go empty handed. LOL!

So in we pop into their home, greetings and small talk filled the air. The sight for me was that of bliss.

Little Tristan was already five months old, rolling about in the baby walker like a F1 racer, drifting about and more often than not, crashing into those unfortunate enough to stand in his path.

Wanyi is scaring the baby just by being there. =p

Stopped in his tracks!

A close up.

Jerk makes Tristan happy!

Speed devil and his wheels.

Celine and her hubby Lian Hua, just sat on the sides, coaxing and making funny noises at little Tristan, in hope that he'll give a smile or roll on over to them. Together they seem like the perfect picture of happiness, encompassing all that I long for in a life with my own family.

Tristan with his Lao Bei.

*Sigh* Oh well. I know you're envious too.

Surprisingly, albeit just giving birth to Tristan recently, Celine is well on her way into her 2nd pregnancy. That is perhaps the reason you're not seeing her in any of the photos. TOO BAD FOR YOU!

Not wanting to bother the couple any longer as well as wanting to quieten our growling stomachs, we left Celine's house with goodbyes and smiles on our faces as we made our way to Plaza Singapura where we're suppose to meet up with our usual bunch of friends for a late night movie.

The others who've fully embrace the culture of our clique were late as usual, leaving only me and Wanyi to have our dinner.

Two grinning idiots.

The fried mushroom appetizer. Best I've ever tasted.

Our main course. So much FRIED food!

A hungry woman is... well... ready to eat I suppose.

Subsequently, after a quarter of an hour later, Gimo and Wei Jian finally hit the scene and ate at Cafe Cartel. If their wives were about to go into labour and asked them to hurry down, knowing them as well as we do, I would put their arrival roughly around their children's University graduation.

I'm exaggerating of course. If not numskulls like you would never get the point. Hahaha!

On a side note, I came to realise that the menus from Cafe Cartel and Manhattan Fish Market are more or less about the same. Maybe its just that deep fried chow seem all the same to me. Then again, maybe not.

Me and my opposite (Not gay you dolt.), Wei Jian.

Nice looking cup-o-sugar water which cost 5 freaking bucks.

Wanyi: I never bathe today wor. (Kidding of course!)
Dom and Gimo: *Shocked*

Okay okay jokes over. Time for a proper photo.

The highlight of the day (Night actually.) which was the movie was everything but an disappointment, living up to everyone's expectation of a comedy.

Ashton Kuttcher, brilliant as he is in his role, seems to always play the part of a unconfident and humorous underachiever, akin to the role he played in Alot Like Love.

A must-watch. What are you sitting there for? GO WATCH!

Drunk people are usually the happiest sort of people.

Marriage is a whole new different ball game.

On the other hand, we cannot expect him to act in horror shows like House of Wax. It will be just too darn wrong! Before you know it, Jet Lee will act in Meteor Garden or some similar shite.

That's pretty much all about the fabulous Friday I've had.

It's 3.30 am and I go off to work in an hour's time. I just love my job.

2008-05-06T23:13:00.003+08:00

It was a karaoke Friday night at Chevron for me. Together with the usual main cast, Wanyi, Thomas, Dom and Wei Jian, we sang our hearts (Along with some saliva and huge servings of our lungs.) out.

5 people, 2+ hours and 3 dollars each. WTF!?

Jianwei sings?

Yep and horribly I'd confess. Especially when I do female songs.

I just couldn't hit the notes, and what makes the entire experience more intolerable was that I tried to. LOL.

But I do okay for guy songs! Really!

Stop cringling up your face like that. It'll give you wrinkles.

Anyway self ridicule aside, I came to realise that karaoke ain't as therapeutic as I thought it would be. From time to time, a song will be sung that holds some profound and usually saddening meaning to someone.

Wanyi and Thomas were certainly one of those "someones", evident with their pain etched into their faces as songs that struck more than just a sad chord rolled on by. Even the happy-go-lucky Dom wasn't spared from the ruthless flashbacks.

Wei Jian on the other hand held the facade of a peaceful lake. If there was any turbulence beneath the calm exterior, one would never find out.

Don't you just hate it when a certain song invokes certain emotions and drags out some certain memories that you thought you've buried it away (For good we'd hope.).

The song 假装 did just that to me. It was as much a heartwarming as well as a heart wrenching moment for me to reminiscence about my past.

She was there at my POP (Passing Out Parade lar Einstein.).

Her silly antics.

Our first Valentines Day dinner.

Amazingly I couldn't remember her for any single bit of our less-than-happy times together. Self denial at its best I'd reckon.

Get out of my head will you?

2008-05-03T15:20:00.004+08:00

I've just watched Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay on this Labour Day together with Rebecca, Gimo(Rebecca's bitch), Wanyi, Carol, Dom (Carol's bitch.) and Thomas.

And I didn't bring my camera along. Aww...

Racism never seem so fun!

It was more than a fan such as I could have asked for.

In a nutshell, the experience this time round was a huge step up compared to the last, as the plot develops with better fluidity instead of the chunky randomness transition that used to pervade at every turn. And of course there are the increase in boobies, pussies and weed!!! How not to love it?!

Man I'm telling you, do watch it. Be it at the cinema, on a pirated vcd or even through the windows of a neighbour watching it. Do not give this a miss. Life cannot be lived through with this big a regret.

Dramatic shite aside. It a show that's wickedly funny, with tons of racist jokes along with many logical but warped sense of moralities, bound to keep you at the edge of facials cramps through uncontrollable laughter.

I'm so gonna get the DVD and watch myself a few reruns of that shite.

Cockmeat sandwich anyone?

2008-05-01T00:34:00.004+08:00

Let me share something worth blogging that I've salvaged from my old desktop hardrive amongst hundreds of download songs and old pics.(Sorry my porno hardrive died so STOP ASKING ME!)

A very well taken pic of me doing something stupid. Again.

Anyway its a poem I've apparently written ages ago for reason lost to me. So shut the fuck up and act like you're enjoying it.

As days of life have pass me by,
friends of old begin to change.
still they remain friends of mine,
yet those I knew were not the same.

Lovers who entwined in body and soul,
believed that they'll never part.
But fate have decided to end their love,
now they're left with broken hearts.

yet lonely hearts that once were lonely,
for none they've found to love and hold,
Now with hearts filled with blissful love,
for their muse was found and were made whole.

Sands of time have pass us by,
the me I knew am all but changed.
Yet friends of mine have grown and aged,
but nonetheless I feel the same.

Remember to clean up the partially digested meal that you've so graciously shared with the floor.

2008-04-27T23:55:00.003+08:00

If you enjoy watching old reruns of classic flicks over loud commentaries and even louder laughter, look no further for we're the kakis for you.

We've watch over the weekend not 1, 2 or 3 movies but a jaw dropping siliva dripping whore moaning(You get my point.) grand total of 5 movies!!!

A definite must-watch for all you sick shites out there.

One of Stephen Chow's best.

Man why can't I have so many wives like him?

Completely vulgur comedy.

I've watch it way over 10 times. Its that good.

Yes we're bored, posses really lame taste(Unfortunately.) for movies and pretty much lacking in the department of creativity when it comes to passing time. But I figured you couldn't be doing any better if you're here reading this.

Songbo!

Before you close this window off in anger(Yes I know you're a petty chickenshite.), I'll let you in on another dumbshite tale to make all that insulting comments at you all worthwhile.

While heading home from Gimo's place last night, Dom offered me and Wei Jian a ride home. So we went wandering the dark carpark looking for Dom's car as he apparently forgot where he left it which is a pretty common affliction amongst drivers.

However after 5 minutes or so of combing the place from end to end, Dom realised that he didn't drive that day. HAHAHA OMFG!!!

It may be 'cause the lack of too much sleep over the weekends from our nocturnal activities coupled with all that lying down he did over at Gimo's place that resulted in the hilarity.

But still its no reason to be exempted from years of collective ridicule in years to come.

Wish you had friends like us eh?

2008-04-21T23:50:00.008+08:00

My Poly gathering!

To be totally honest upfront (Which is pretty rare. My life's a lie so you see the irony.), I was pretty sloshed that night so this recount's alignment to the actual truth is pretty much in doubt. But still its my blog so you'll have to STFU and just read on. =)

Friendly ain't I?

You need more work on your sacarstic look.

Anyway its been 2 years, give or take a few months, since I've partake in one of my heartwarming (And intoxicating.) poly gatherings!

Now where's that knife...

For those who seriously don't have an inkling of a clue as to why, I can only say in part its my own spinelessness for not standing up for what I truely want and in part my Ex's iron fisted rule over me.

But at least its over. So there I was at the gathering, late by an hour yet earlier than most.

Tim, Jeremy, Zul and Rayvee(Of course Rayvee was there! It's his house you dumbshit.) was already on the scene preparing our dinner.

The chow! Wipe that drool off your chin.

And what did I do? I fed the fish. I'm the essence of helpfullness.

<
If you fall in, we'll have to use a net to haul you out. Or whatever is left of you

Soon after the dinner table was set, guest started to roll in and the feast began!

For the 'n' time, stop comparing my height with Jeremy's!

Zul and me! Camwhores for life!

Chris and me. And no we can't wipe that grin off our faces.

We all look so happy eh?

Gerald, me, Ah Wee & Timmy o'boy. Man my drunken look sucks.

Chris(Back), Tim, Zul, Kah Wee & yours truely. Don't slouch like me kids.

I've introduced them already so don't ask again. LEARN2REMEMBER!.

Yummy!

We ate, laugh, ate somemore, burp and still we ate. Rinse and repeat.

Incidentally that day's gathering was also in part a celebration for Steven's birthday. And I only found that out after the guys whipped out the cake and the gift.

Jeez some kinda friend I am eh?

The man himself.

A birthday cake without candles is never complete.

Steven's faverite mag.

A picture of Steven after he found out that I was given to him as a gift as well.

It wasn't soon until Tim and Steven whipped out the liquor and started poisoning us, or particular me in this matter. It has gotta do with my lack of capacity for anything stronger than Coke and my drunken antics.

What's your poison?

My resistance didn't make it through the first few polite offers, so inevitibly I drank. And drank.

Proof that they really tried to get me drunk!

Don't really remember who took this photo.

Taken when I was pretty sloshed.

Drunk and taken advantage off. LOOK AT THE HAND!

And before I know it, I was home. Sorry for the exclusion of probably the entire later half of the gathering. Incoherent bits and pieces of memory are not really blog worthy.

P.S Sorry for those sms I sent during my drunken stupor.

Sorry folks...

2008-04-21T18:41:00.009+08:00

My first Meet-A-New-Friend session kicked off with a scam by Wanyi(She could be donating her blood to save the dying but for all we care, she's still scamming!) on last Friday night to head over to town for dinner.

Why can't they come over to Jurong East? It's like the new Orchard!

Okay I'm deluding myself.

Anyways so me and Gimo head over and stuffed ourselves for dinner at this pseudo Hongkong restaurant in Cineleisure with Wanyi and her classmates. The food was on par with can food and instant noodles but the company was stellar.

Wanyi and Eliz was the mark for our harmless ridicule which goes without saying. Germaine on the other hand got lucky as we had some semblence of etiquette to not engaged someone we've just met in friendly mockery. Yet. =)

Daniel, whose name I asked for thrice(Sorry I'm an airhead.) was every bit as hilarious as the rest of us. Andrew, the Vanness clone joined us slightly later along with Jasmine and Dom arriving near the end of the meal!

Daniel, Germaine, Wanyi and Eliz!

The teasing between us(Her classmates included.) went to and fro, with a little sidedish of small talk filling up the supposed silence between each bout of laughter.

I for one chatted mostly with Eliz(But not exclusively. She's attached for the love of god!) and albeit it has been 6 months since I've last saw her, it felt as though not a day has passed since we last spoke as such.

The 2 cousins. Didn't I mention?

And she's gotten prettier too. You go girl!

Made from fresh leftovers. Who wants to puke?

The KTV session that we're to have after was changed to a near midnight movie instead, with Daniel and Andrew making a move first.

So we bought the tickets to Definitely Maybe and chilled out at Heeren's NYDC while waiting for the time to speed by us. In between the slurps of Lemon Shiver and bites of Ugly Cake, I got to know Jasmin and Germaine a little better.

5 minutes into the conversation with Jasmin and it was evident that she's by far the most candid person I've known. Honesty was so thick in her speech I could cut it with a knife! For me it was both shocking as well as refreshing to being spoken to in such forthright manner, especially for someone you've just met.

I did talk to Germaine too and boy was it a real challenge. I could barely make out what she was saying as she was a softspoken person, drowned out by the ambient symphony of indistinctive chatter.

It's one of the few times I'd wish that there's subtitle in real life. LOL!

However the auditory obstacle neither diminished not warped my perception of her friendly humor in the least. She's definitely someone you can spend laughing your life away with.

Before we know it, time did flew by us, Thomas was sitting beside me and was finishing my Lemon Shiver! LEECHER!

Maybe it was Wanyi's foul smell that droved Jasmin to leave for home (Usually she smells worse. LOL! KIDDING ON THE WHOLE ODOR THING!!!), but on the bright side, we had Ken, Germaine's friend to join us for the movie in Jasmin's stead.

The movie was everything it's said to be. Funny, romantic, and too long! A perfect movie to watch on those gloomy Sundays when you're all alone.

Be my April?

With Gimo, Wanyi, Dom and Thomas's Muah Trip on the day after, everyone parted ways shortly after the rolling of the credits and left for home.

P.S. I really need to blog more frequently.

2008-04-15T10:47:00.010+08:00

Day 2 Evening and Whatever That's Left of the Trip

So back we went with renewed vigor and piqued interest to the other casino after Gimo's discovery of the Texas Hodem table there.

Sigh.

There I sat for four hours, give or take, accompanying them as an unpaid hostess through their many "Nabei" and "Huat arh!".

Thank god that the pit boss(A term used on supervisor for a cluster of tables.) stationed there was drop dead gorgeous and so the hours sped past without much of my knowledge.

Her name's Cindy by the way. Do look her up if you chance upon the table. Better yet, intro me!

I'm such a desperate bugger.

Reaching my limit of gambling one such as me could stomach, I excused myself and head back to our hotel room before my disgust becomes overly apparent. There's only a fine line between entertainment and obsession with my mates edging over to the latter.

Do pardon my warped sense of moralities. All I could say is I was shaped so by my upbringing.

A bath, a subsequent nap and I was awakened to the incessant chattering brought about by Gimo, Wanyi, Thomas and Dom. My friends had finally came back to me! Woohoo!

I joined and chip in my 2 cents on the private issues we were discussing(You're not invited!). It didn't take long for us to realise that it was bloody late and so we wisely retired for the night.

But not before taking some pictures!!!

Hot or what?

Dom sold his soul and got 60 Ringit. Lucky fella!

My pathetic winnings. Though it seems more than Dom's, I only won 25 Ringit compared to his 60 Ringit.

Cocky shite! Where's a shotgun when you need one?

But she never treat me!

Who wants to rob Thomas with me?

This time round we woke up on the next day as planned. We were up and about at 8 plus headed for the complimentary breakfast buffet we sorely missed on the morning before. It nearly reach the standards of pig fodder but it however did filled us up.

Ah Yuan in his room!

I stand corrected. Its more of a pig sty.

Bloody good view. Can I take it home?

Got so thirsty meh?!

I guess my displeasure regarding their gambling was too apparent the day before so Gimo, Dom and Thomas decided to placate me by watching a movie with me.

But where's Wanyi you ask? AT THE CASINO STILL!!!

The new benchmark for TRASH!

It has got to be the worse movie ever. Period. Shitty story line, serious lack of martial arts in a supposed martial arts movie accompanied by deplorable acting can really bring out one's vulgarities, even outta saints.

And to stress our point even further, the Osim massaging chairs were the only reason we stayed on after the first half hour of the movie!

15 Ringit for 1 hour plus of massage! Who cares what they show!

Cursing and swearing, we did a little last minute shopping for our respective love ones, met up with the rest of the troupe and boarded the ride back to our land of apparent freedom, Singapore!

What's she smiling for?

So that's my first trip overseas after my re-entry back to singlehood. It was heartwarming to bask in my friends' company and I was more than glad to be so readily accepted back into clique after my self imposed exile.

Thanks guys! You make this shite of a life worth living!

End of Trip

2008-04-09T19:29:00.011+08:00

Day 2 Afternoon

We awoke on the 2nd day of our Genting trip, grumbling and punctuating ourselves every now and then with selected choice of curses. Those weren't hurled at Dommi'o'boy who was the first to rise (Surprisingly!) and subsequently woke the rest of us up. Neither were they hurled at the fact we're sneezing our noses off nor at the freezing cold.

Day 2 started at 1pm ++. LOL!

We scrambled for the toilet and washed up, dressed up and ready to roll in a mere 30mins(Fast or what? I guess its more along the lines of "or what".).

Anyways shortly after we formed up ranks with Thomas and Mingyuan from the other room, we went(They went, I was dragged along!) over to Pizza Hut for lunch!

Dom to Mingyuan: Not happy is it? Go there settle lar!
Mingyuan to Dom: ... (Insert blur cock face.)
Aunty: Zzzzz...
Wanyi: CHEESE!!!

The Hungry-Bear-Traps-Silly-Goose formation.

Don't mind us we just decors around Gimo and his mummy.

Spokesperson for "Ah-Long and You PTE LTD". Your one stop to instant loans, harresment and whoopass.

The new skunk-based colonge and its victim

For the record, I HATE CHEESE!!! DEATH TO THE COWS! AND DON'T FORGET GOATS AND WHAT NOT!

*Composes myself*

Many hungry gulps, a few struggled munches and too many a burp later, and lunch was over. We sat around after the plates were clear and decided what's gonna be our itinerary for the rest of the day.

Gimo, heart filled with vengeance from Day 1's defeat, went ahead to do battle with casino with his trusty sidekick, aunty, in tow. Together, Genting Casino shall fall!!!

The rest of us pseudo thrill seeking folks settled for the amusement park and went head on to scare the living shite outta ourselves!

A picture first before anyone gets scared to death.

Time seemed to left the amusement park unravaged, in boring sorta way. The rides are the same, landscape remained the same, heck even the decor remained the same. Sheesh.

To make matters worse, our maiden ride of the day, the Science Capsule totally suck. I believe the designer of the ride thought that vertical rotating walls, minor rocking and the nausea that follows were pretty thrilling.

I could derived more excitment from staring at dirt.

Despite the enormity of our disappointment, we found ourselves still scrambling up that stairs and down that slope like energizer bunnies, hyper with the excitement at the thought of trying out other rides.

I was too scared to ride on it.

There goes her lunch. Any other takers?

What goes upppppppppppppppppp....... Must come downnnnnnnnnnnn....

In the presences of what my mates termed "Suicide Machine", my palms wetted itself and my breathe came in short pants. I was that scared.

Don't judge me. I reckon you'll be scared shiteless too even if you had guts the size of Texas.

After the ride, I had jelly for legs and could only managed to spew forth vulgarities and other incoherent shite while wobbling about.

As if to mock me further, Wanyi the only girl in the group, pushed for the lot of us to go for a second ride. They did, after much persuasion, with me and Thomas staring with unblinking eyes at their raising and plunging forms.

Thinking three would be a charm, Wanyi unthinkingly asked(More like jeered!) us to ride again. If she really went for a third ride, she would have been ridding it alone!

We gathered what was left of our composure and fled the vicinity before anyone of us succumbs to her taunting again and headed for safer rides elsewhere.

From their terrified expresion, one can tell that they're a bunch of chickenshite!

Caught in the act!

We started along the route to the water rides and got sidetracked to a archery range along the way. Thinking that we get to shoot for free(And seeing from afar that the employees were babes.) we went on in to try our hand(Literally.) at being the next Legolas!

Up close the instructors were babes. Unfortunately on the other hand, the arrows were leagues from being free.

Ready, aim, smile!

Our shifus and us. Don't play play.

I guess only me and Thomas totally enjoyed the experience. Probably 'cause we managed to get a hang of it after filling target boards and walls alike with 1/2 of our arrows.

"Enjoyed" in this case would be somehow striking on a far softer note after I tell you that we were so into it, we couldn't help but 'borrowed' both Mingyuan's and Dom's ammo.

What about Wanyi? The day anyone gives her a bow and arrow is the day I run for cover. LOL!

How I wish your face were there. Sigh.

It was an hour before the amusement park closes for the night when we emptied our quiver at the archery range. Trying hard to stretch the dollar spent on admission, we hurried our asses along to whatever rides we still haven't been on.

Our anxious wandering ultimately led us back to the racing cart track that caught our eye on our first pass.

Time to film our own INITIAL D!!!

Getting our hair permed!

First off, we have Dom, Speed Devil of Teban!

Secondly, Mingyuan, Ah Toot from China-barbi-land!

Lastly, Thomas, Peter Shawn Michael's cousin's mother-in-law's neighbour's pet's vet's nurse's son's classmate's friend.

Of course we didn't drift. Else we would've been splattered a few thousand feet below. Jeez.

But we did road hogged, tailgated and even deliberately crashed into each other! Too bad we didn't managed to run someone off the cliffs.

KIDDING!

With minutes left before they let the guard dogs out to feast off tourists, we went for 1 last ride for the day on the Flying-Merry-Go-Round.

Wanyi thought she left her hand behind and started to looking for it.

Kidding! She's just trying to let u see how conservative she is, wearing 3 jackets! Talk about Ba Zhang!

The last ride ended our day at the amusement park with a blast. Stay tune for Day 2 Evening of the Genting trip!

End of Day 2 Afternoon

2008-04-04T12:16:00.006+08:00

I've made 1 of the most expensive decisions of my life just days ago.

The situation was I was selected to go abroad for training as a Dedicated Crew Chief(DCC for short.) for a new platform for 3 years.

An imagination aid for those of you who have none. Yes, I meant you.

If I went, I would be around $100k richer, putting me way ahead than most in the rat race.

Yet against what is deemed the most rational decision to any sane individual, I declined.

Don't gape. It makes you look like a moron.

I've asked myself why as well so don't bother shedding your anonymity asking me.

The first and foremost reason would be that a DCC has practically no life. They have to be in and working 3 hours before the flying begins and will only get to leave at the earliest 3 hours after the last landing of the day.

So how long does it leave for them to have any semblance of a life? I'd tell you that they'll be glad just to get away with enough time for sleep.

Yes you've guess it as well as the next guy(Or girl). The second reason is friends and boy is it a heavyweight.

Simply put, it'd pain me to take leave from my friends' lives. I wanna be part of most if not every memory of bits and pieces that'll take place within the 3 years. To me, that's a part of life no one can put a price tag on.

The third and last reason will be her.

NOT HER OBVIOUSLY!

I've gave the matter a long twirl in my head and concluded that it has to be the next lowest point in individual intelligence.

Bah. Whatever.

All in all I've came to realise that I'm not an underachiever as I've always percieved myself to be, but merely one who undervalues the monetary aspect of life.

What I've came realise even more is that my perception of self is, well, as flawed as who I really am!

Congratu-fuck-alations to myself?

P.S. I'll get to writing the subsequent entries of the Genting trip soon.

2008-04-01T09:37:00.009+08:00

Day 1

It all began with a yawn as we left Gimo's place for the boarding point at Boon Lay Shopping Centre on a cold March morning. We just had an entire night's worth of mahjong behind us and the fatigue was hanging heavily onto our bodies.

Anticipating that there'll be a MAJOR traffic jam ahead due to the recent manhunt for Mas Selamat, we wisely grab some breakfast at the coffee shop nearby.

The breakfast gang!

I'm picking my nose and shooting it into other people's food.

An overbridge climb later and we've boarded the bus. It was those spacious 3-seats-per-row-config kinda bus and we settled down into our inclined seats and prepare to hibernate for our LONG journey ahead.

I forgot to on the flash.

Funny face Dom.

Yuan Yuan Xing Bing Wei!

Gimo and me.

A incident worth mentioning(And laughing at.) again and again in years to come and serves as an excellent precautionary tale for all who's traveling abroad would be what happend to our Wanyi that very day. That lass never seem to cease amazing us with her silly exploits. She'll forever be caught pants down in any kinda akward and silly incident imaginable.

Figurative speaking of course!

Even now in retrospect, its hilarity never seem to fade in the slightest.

What happened was after she repeatedly berating Thomas for not having check and change his photo earlier as it was taken in what, Primary 1? The irony being that she herself upon reaching Singapore Custom, found out that her supposed passport was in fact, her mother's!!!

Truth be told, at that point in time we're at a dilema as to whether we should be angry or we should be laughing.

It took $20 SGD to placate the fuming bus driver who was gonna leave her behind and another 20 mins for her mum to drive down and pass her the correct passport.

Sheesh! Burden yes? HAHAHA...

The rest of the trip there was pretty much uneventful. As much as a sleeping Jerk could tell that is.

BANG!

5 tedious hours of stops, bumps and swerves later, we've reach our destination! The checking in went horrendously slow as we had like 200 people before us, so we went for some chow while we waited.

Tada! First World Hotel!

Me and Thomas and a whole shiteload of tourist at the back.

But before that, some tourist shots!

New boyband, The Lung Cancerers!

Without the cigs and 1 more friend.

With 1 burden more! Hahaha.

Points over at yonder.

First meal of the trip, KENNY RODGERS! Come to think of it, we always eat that upon our arrival to Genting.

Whatever!

A sated man is a happy man.

Gimo and his mum!

After a hearty meal and several loud burps later, we made our way to the check in counter and guess what? Just nice, its our number!

I derive joy from every small details in life. So sue me if you can't stand happy people.

Loser!

Our rooms were a disapointing sight. And I'm trying to be nice to the hotel here. See for yourself and tell me I'm wrong.

The cell.

The lack of furniture.

The shiteroom.

The view from the window. In this case, the lack of it.

Whats even more, if possible, disapointing happened when the door pivoted inwards and realised that the room has not even been made! GRRRR...

We've felt obligated to adhere to the Singaporean culture and COMPLAIN!

Then out of nowhere came this chap with a smile on his face and a trolley full of bedsheets, toiletries and whatever nonsense the hotels fill their rooms with.

He speedily went about his work with a smile even as his "entourage" of other guests in similar predicament as us, entrenched themselves outside our room and fire endless barrage of questions as to when was their room gonna be done.

He put a smile on my face as he answered calmly with that unfailing smile of his. I am a total sucker for such good people.

Ka-chink! There goes my first tip of the trip! 10 ringit wasn't really much to me, but from the further inclination of the edge of his smile I knew I've made his day.

After both our rooms were done, we literally dump our laggauge behind and began to launch our attack on the casino! Leave no table untouched!

Sorry for the lack of pictures as they're not allowed to be taken in the casino premises. Come to think about it, I'm not so sorry. LOL!

Upon arrival, our vanguard Gimo, has lost 100 ringit in even less than 1 mins at the game of 3 Pictures.

After the clear demostration of how formidable our enemies were, we cautiously fan out in smaller groups engaging different tables. I ended up with Dom at the roulete table and won abit betting on Odd and Even.

My interest with the casino ended somewhere after 1/2 and hour or so. I'm really not much of a gambler you see. And chicks for reasons beyond my comprehension totally digs risk-takers.

I'm doomed to be single and unattractive. Period.

The first day of battle was pretty much lost and we retreated, seeking a place for dinner. And we ended up at a coffeeshop. Again!

It's so cold!

Nah its just Thomas smoking.

Sam old group again.

My childhood favourite! The number 8 chocolate!

But he owes me money!

The food was suprisingly inexpensive and delicious, as is with all the food in Malaysia. We raped a plate horfun, fried rice and chee chong fan like a couple of Ethopians.

We decided to end our first night on a relaxing note(Not engaging in prostitution lar pervert!), thus with that notion guiding our action, we found ourselves a pub and watched ourselves a soccer match.

Band of losers!

Yes I watched it too. It was 'cause the liquor was too diluted and I really couldn't get drunk. LOL!

Anyway Man U trashed Liverpool 3 to 0. And me, Dominque and Thomas betted on the latter. It was a 12(11 Man U players and 1 referee) vs 10(1 Liverpool player got sent off) match and the ending was every bit as predictable as it was distasteful.

We called it a day as we made our way back with mouthfuls of grievance on the match and water down liqour in our system.

END OF DAY 1!

2008-03-31T01:30:00.005+08:00

The revamping is finally over and done with.

If you find yourself scratching your head and wondering what revamp am I bitching about, please refer to the catergories below.

You are:

A)afflicted with memory span like that of a goldfish.
B)plain stupid.
C)new to my blog.
D)a reader who don't bother remembering any details.

For people who fall under A or B, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

If you belong to C, welcome to my blog. Now you can just visit my blog and get mocked, ridiculed and laughed at from the comfort of your home!

The rest who are in D, you actually belong in B but is currently in a state of denial. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Okay, I had my harmless fun. Don't kill me. =)

Now to what was actually done.

Upgrades:

New blogskin!
New tagboard!
Updated info about myself.(I know you're dying to know!)!
New link to Rebecca's blog!
New music - Make It Mutual by Olivia Ong, Girl Meets Bossa Nova 2!
New hit counter!

Time to take a extended look at the back of my eyelids. Good night one and all!

2008-03-25T21:41:00.003+08:00

I'm back from my reprieve from real life(Drama queen!)!

Orh.... Cheer up. Don't be too disapointed that I didn't die along the way. Take comfort that I would die someday right?

But probably AFTER you're six feet under!

Wuhahahahaha(I'm such a JERK!!!)...

I'll always get the last laugh on MY blog.

Anyway I got tons of pics to upload and shiteloads of well.. shite to blog about. Might take many a days but hey, its not like you've got much of a life anyway.

Kidding 'mon, don't hate me!

Time for prata with my mates(My life is as interesting as a can of beans.).

Eat your greens, kids!

2008-03-22T16:45:00.005+08:00

I'm off to Genting for 3 days, folks!

Don't miss me too much. But I know you will anyway.

I'll either be back by bus still kicking or flown back in a body bag already rotting. Hope its the former!

The uncle thought he was Jay Chou and tried to drift. And failed apparently.

P.S. The picture is just some random shite I pulled up from the net. So don't go pop the champange yet 'cause I ain't dead!

2008-03-21T02:02:00.007+08:00

Deadbeat from this week's backbreaking (Not brokeback!) nightshift. And to think I only work for 3 days.

I'm such a whiner.

My hair's still wet from my bath earlier on and hitting the sack would certainly ensure a headache the next day. Or at least smelly hair. So since i'm up anyway, might as well...

Okay okay, I admit. I want to blog. There. Does that make your life any more meaningful knowing?

Jerk.

Anyway I've just did some jazzing up(Pun totally intended.) to my blog this couple of days. Got a simplistic mp3 player (On the menu bar, Einstein.) which by the way plays my current fave, Fade Away by Olivia Ong, hooked up the Doorway section with Jam's blog and gave a little up-to-date admendments to my All About Me (Ego or what?) info.

One of the many blogskins that caught my eyes.

Another one. Help me choose?

Major overhauling is underway. Stay tune kiddos!

2008-03-19T11:11:00.006+08:00

*Disclaimer: Warning, long post ahead. Remember to have sufficient rest and substenance before proceeding. Should the act of reading incur any injury or death, TOO BAD FOR YOU LOR!*

Olivia Ong!!!

Simply gorgeous.

Last Friday she and her newly formed Olivia Ong Quintet was giving a FREE performance at Esplanade's Living Room by invitation from Singapore's Moasic Music Festival.

So being her absolute fans, me and Winnie went on down and joined the throng of other likeminded to be serenaded by her voice.

Give me more!

I know this is way overdued but I was really caught up in life (*Insert puppy eyes*). What can I say?

Okay shoot me.

Moving on. =)

We started off with our fave subway at which turned out to be absolutely crap. Who could have thought a well recognized foodchain could have produced such inpalateble shite?

An omnimous start.

Afterwhich we went to shop around abit, which in truth was me doing the shopping and Winnie doing the nagging. HAHAHA! As I went through clothings that caught my eye, she would constantly comment on how riduclous I would've look.

It's heartwarming, and at the same time, enduring.

Since none of the clothes I like she felt likewise, I decided that we should head off to Esplanade and hog a spot instead of brickering about every individual piece and justifying the buy.

Turns out to be a prudent choice!

The place was already nearly swarmed, with fringes of the crowd beyond my view. Somehow we managed to worm through the mob and even manage to get a seat. What luck!

A 45 min wait later, all the shoving and pushing we endured paid off.

Is this overdoing it?

I certainly hope so!

A real siren ain't she?

We sat there snapping pictures while being captivated by every note and word of her songs. Everything she sang that night has a funkier and more playful edge to it. You have to be there to totally understand how divine the experience was.

After it all ended, we met up with Aueralis, Dentised and Delusion from our guild at a nearby cafe. They look a couple of Secondary school kids at best. But it was really nice meeting them in the flesh.

Me and Winnie part ways with our guildies and strolled back to Raffles City. We chatted for awhile siting on the edge of the indoor fountain before her friend arrived and picked up.

Following which I met up with Gimo and head over to the *cough* pub Thomas works at.

Me with a stupid pose.

The joint.

Another part of the pub with one of the employees. Chevvy was his name I think.

It's a pretty cozy place with a soothing ambience. Cept the crowd was slightly unnerving.

Yes Thomas works at a gay bar. But he's a straight. Or till enough money can bend him over for that matter. LOL!

From my mouth sprouts trash. Don't take my rubbish too seriously.

For the record, Thomas is straight and is deeply in love with his GIRLFRIEND. Too bad ladies. Better luck next life!

I had an Lycee Martini under Thomas's recommandation that it wasn't too strong. Apperantly he either overlook my incapacity to hold anything stronger than coke or he's just out to get my drunk to pimp my ass to the highest bidder.

What's your poison?

Whatever!

So I nurse my drink for the rest of the night while chatting with Gimo and Thomas from time to time and watching gay flicks in between.

Couple for the night!

The most memorable yet traumatising one was "Fogi is a Bastard". Kids might be reading this so all I'm gonna say is it puts "gay" in "this is some freaking sick gay shite".

Don't watch it, for the love of god.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate gay. I sincerely believe everyone is entitled their individualism. But the flick was too goddamn perverted to the brink of being overtly digusting.

At 3am give or take, Thomas knocked off and the 3 of us headed to Maxwell market for a late supper.

Yum yum!

[Hokkian]: HOR EH!

I hate him 'cause his way~ more handsome me. Hrm. Then I should probably hate all my guy friends!

Food was great and the company was even more so. Serious chatting inevitably followed and before we managed to get the point Gimo was bringing across, it was near 5. We then hopped on one of the many cabs camping along the stretch of road and headed home

Where are the windows?

Now is that a long post or what?

P.S. We're not gay. Really. Wipe that unconvinced look off your face or I'm gonna eat it.

2008-03-14T16:43:00.005+08:00

I've finally had a haircut (Look below you dork!). Ain't impressive but fairly acceptable.

I look like crap. But so do you!

It was way~ overdued anyway. I was starting to look like a bushman. *Shudders*.

Anyway I came across this very interesting article whilest watching the aunty snipping away my hair. Apparently it states that men will never have a blissful love life.

The article states that women choose their partners according to looks due to genes messing with their mind.

In a nutshell, the female mind categorize the ugly, nerdy, despite being caring and understanding, type of men into marriage material.

On the other hand, men who are macho, handsome, regardless of how characteristically flawed they are (ephumism for bastard. But I guess you get the point.) are thrown into fling material catergory. Bastards are such babe magnets.

Life's unfair, no?

Which comes to say women most definately will love(Feeling and making. LOL!) the Fling type more than the Marriage type but their relationship with the Fling type will never last until the end of the month. Week even.

And it all boils down the fact you'll be either:

A)In a marriage with a wife who doesn't love you and most probably doesn't enjoy making love to you all that much or,
B)Having tons of sex, affection and attention, however shortlived, and inevitably dying a pathetic and lonely old man.

So where does that leave us?

I owed Winnie some money and she hung not 1 but a pack full of pig head outside my house. New age Ah Long!

And it's edible too!

2008-03-13T11:03:00.005+08:00

"I am back!!!"

There you go. My "Re-entry to Blogosphere" speech. Wipe that dissapointed look of your face. It's very unbecoming.

If you're expecting entries more along the lines of being flamboyant and melodramatic once more, kindly tap Ctrl + Alt + Delete twice. LOL.

Life's to short to overdramatise every insignificant details.

Enough of this shite. Moving on.

Anyway, I've met up with my buds, Gimo, Dom and Thomas on Tuesday night for mahjong. And guess what? I WON $45!!! WOHOO! Pop the champanges!

Maybe we're all lucky bastards, maybe we're just too skilled. We (Excluding Thomas. Cry more please =p ) kept winning it big. As in really big.

Hua shang san/xi/wu tai zhi mo. Men qing ping hu zhi mo. Ouch.

On a side note. Our gambling sessions, be it Texas Hoderm or mahjong, isn't really about the money. Yes they do involve a substential sum of money relative to our income, but it is more of an incentive to promote good gameplay.

I might be slightly glorifying it abit, but I swear its the whole truth! *Inserts an innocent look*.

Talk is cheap. Time for pictures from my 6megapix, NOT 3megapix, camera!

Us and me coping a feel of Thomas' boobs.

Winners for the day. The chips are an exergeration of their winnings.

And of course, the culprit behind why Gimo won alot.

OMG WTF! No I didn't game with 13 Wonders. SUCKERS!

2008-03-11T19:25:00.006+08:00

Hurray! Free at last! Whopee!

However, that's not how I felt about it.

Though it's been essentially arduous being attached to her, it was nonetheless equally blitheful as well.

Why then, you ask?

In a nutshell, we're not meant to be. Continuing to be together while totally disregarding the apparent fact that we have no future as an item, serves only to deepen the scars future seperation will bring.

So I did the right thing. I ended it before the hurt to come becomes intolerable for both of us. That's pretty much about it.

Back to my own life I suppose. Scores of people to catch up with and oodles of things to do.

One last look at the times with my ex girlfriend.

In Gold Class Golden Village cinema at Vivo.

No I'm not trying to grope her!

Pubbing.

Having our Valentines dinner. Note that we're still corporals!

Playing monopoly. For the record I WAS WINNING! MUHAHAHA!

Having my birthday dinner at East Coast Park Seafood restaurent.

My birthday at somewhere I won't tell you. *Grins*

P.S. Once you've loved, a part of you will always love that person. EWW mushy shite.

2006-04-11T05:49:00.000+08:00

For the last time this blog is NOWHERE near dead. It's at most, well, ill attended to I suppose.

Life has been kinda hectic though, ranging from going overseas for holidays to games to work. Especially work.

Since the start of this month, I have to wake up at 5.45 every morning just to reach my workplace on time and reach home about 7.15 in the evening if I get lucky. Talk about depressing.

Other than the long hours, work was great. All I ever did was read newspaper, nap, do sports and at times when I'm lucky, play PSP. And I draw 1.8k per month if I'm not mistaken. *Insert grinning face*

Anyway on a completely different note, I've completed both Kingdom Heart 1 and 2. It's rather fulfilling I must say. Give it a shot yah?

Work beckons. I bid you good day!

2006-03-26T03:02:00.000+08:00

Cloaks and daggers. A suitable title to my confession.

I've lied. To you, my family(Duh), friends(OMG!) and even myself(Yes its possible).

A recent lie I've told made me look back in my life and ponder how many lies, perhaps how many people I've lied to.

Too little sleep and too much free time on hand squeezes confessions out of people easily I guess.

From certain warped point of view, I lied because I care about how you feel and what you think of me. To glorified it even further, I rather bear all manner of guilt and sin resulting from lying to make life a little better for people.

But that's just the self-deluding me.

At the end of the day, I know no culture, nor religion, nor even society can my actions be ever justified.

If ever confronted, I ask not for your forgiveness, for I'd lie if faced with the same situation. Instead, I'd ask for your understanding.

Don't ask me if I've lied to you. Unless you wanna be lied to.

2006-02-23T23:40:00.000+08:00

It's a first for me I must say.

A close friend of mine said this to me not too long ago. Hold on to your knickers kiddies! "I am sick of your harressment! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN!". It hit me like a truck full of cheese and milk.

It's not one of those usual replies you'll expect when you say "Gd nitex! :D" on msn.

For the sake of protecting her identity and adding a bit of suspense to this all, I've decided to call her Ex-Friend!

She was someone I've courted, twice. Consecutively even after being rejected on the previous account! How's that for pathetic! ^^

Anyway on my second and last attempt, I smsed her everyday, from boring happenings of my day to some cringingly lame jokes. Needless to say after having rejected me, my smsed were rarely replied. Paranoid, insecurity and my bipolar mood swings during courtship set in after a week or so. My consequential fucked-up followed.

Then came silence. For how long I couldn't tell. Bottom line was, my feeling for her was really spent and I threw the whole "being with her" idea out of the window.

After making peace with myself, I wanted to break the stalemate of silence and thus foolishly attempted to include her again in my nightly ritual of "good nite" sending. Boy was I in for trouble.

She exploded like a dynamite in candy wrapper, catching me totally off guard and blowing me to bits. Apparently she felt extremely harressed by my courtship and wanted me out of her life, friend or no friend.

All I wanted to accompolish by saying "gd nite" was to not lose her in her capacity as a close friend. Too many a time great friends are lost to depths of silence and self-involvement. But I guess her feelings weren't mutual.

The point I'm most disappointed and perhaps most pissed about as well was that if she told me I'm causing her so much grief, I would have stopped all my pursing. She didn't even give me a chance to keep her as a friend. Perhaps I wasn't really that close of a friend to her afterall.

Whatever.

Anyway looking on the bright side, I won't have a potentially-disowning friend in my life. I'll toast to that. ^^

So here I am, one friend less, one more lesson learned. The next time you any of ladies(With any bad luck gentlemen too ;D) becomes aware of my affections for thee, please for the love of god, get a restraining order.

"Gd nitex :D"

2006-02-05T23:51:00.000+08:00

2 entries on consecutive days!? OMG SOMEONE deserves an award and twenty million bucks. Okay maybe just the twenty million bucks :D

Right, anyway I met up with Gimo at JEC today. Unfortunately I arrived too early and saw HER! *SPITS* So being courteous and all, I threw in a 'lil hypocrisy here and a 'lil small talk there. Luckily she was gone before I ran out of both.

Gimo was a sad bloke. Apparently he is undergoing what we term as quarter life crisis. I guess that happens to everyone, especially when that individual serving NS. >.<

We caught up on a 'lil shopping and bought the stuff to make Dom's present. After 3 hours, many "Chee Byes" and tons of joke about his printer's brand, which happens to be "Brother", the job was done.

I'll take a pic and let you see our masterpiece some other time. ^^

After which Caca came back from class and four of us headed back to JEC and caught "I'm not Stupid 2".

I not Stupid. I is england lousy.

Incidentally I feel like some distant mean-ass uncle when I saw Gimo and Caca walking hand in hand, with that bratish hyperactive brother of Gimo running ahead of us. Brrr. I must be getting old.

This is way~ more realistic than WWE.

Word of advice. Do go with someone you're comfortable to cry around with. It is stuffed with tear rousing scenes. Being a man and all it is certain that I DID NOT CRY! WUHAHAHA

Ego aside.

Part of the story portrayed secondary school life. Brings back tons of memories. Life was nearly the same as in the show. I was like one of the 2 male leads back then. Always rebutting my teachers with some insulting comments and acting rebellious without any reason or cause.

Dinner anyone?

I guess that's a normal phase in life.

Perhaps the was most memorable part and maybe the most distracting part was when the more violent male lead got expelled for fighting. Joanna comes to mind.

You sure you're not stupid?

The same shit happened back then. 'Cept the reason was that the police came to school regarding some dumbshit stuff she did and subsequently she got expelled.

I was quite worried and quite in love with her back then you see.

Anyway before I get lost in memory lane again, I want to share with you the conclusion I drew from the movie.

IT AIN'T ANYONE'S FAULT.

The system we live in is solely designed for the purpose of shaping our thinking, morals and whatsoever values to fulfill what the economy needs. It has no space for individualism. All it desires are mindless automatons performing what is best for the the economy.

As a result, people will perform the eventual actions and make the eventual decision causing both unnecesarry grief and suffering for other people.

Why are the people who created the system exempted from blame? In part it is because of its insufficient proximity to the problem and in part because of one's inability to comment. Catch my drift?

Taken on Liam's birthday! And no we're not waiters >.<

Sleep well and don't skip lessons!

2006-02-05T01:09:00.000+08:00

Last night was great? Did that cut it as a good starting line? Nah I don't think so too.

Anyway I went out Lizzie(Adds a personal touch, no?) for a movie at cineleisure yesterday. Everything went smooth as a whistle 'cept she was 1 hour late >.<

Not that it's her fault that the taxi driver screwed up.

Incidentally while wondering alone in, out and just about everywhere else around cine, I wasted a few minutes of my life standing amongst the crowd and watch the Chingay.

At least it wasn't a total screwup. I mean they got the "gay" part right. If it were alittle bit more interesting, I'd fall asleep. Standing. LOL!

Digressing ain't I? Back to the matter at hand.

After her "I'm so sorry for being late!" and my "Oh no its ok!", we went over to that sushi shop on the forth floor. Funny that I and a couple of my polymates frequent that place but never really caught it's name. Oh well.

The food was crap. Period. Moving on.

The movie kinda started before we went in, in part by our ultra-long-winded-nonsensical catching up, and in part by my lack of directions. I know a guy getting lost is abit un-manly, but I'm only human. And it was a big place.

EXCUSES!

Anyway the movie was simply hilarious! Other than the unecessary use of sex scenes and portrayal of our opposite gender as basically slutsbags who would shag anyone, it was funny! Everyone practically laughed out lungs out! I can swear there was blood everywhere.

*Insert weak laughter* Okay not really funny.

Afterwhich we went for prata at Bukit Timah. What can I say? The service was lousy, the food was horrendous and even the teh-o tasted funky! Go on, prove me wrong and waste your money. I'll even lead you there myself ^^

But like what I always say(*Rolls eyes* Here we go again), it's the company that matters. And it was her treat. LOL! So we sat there, complained about how bad everything was, and had a 'lil fun chit-chatting.

Being a miser and all, I made her walk back to her place which took about 45 minutes on foot. NOT! She kinda decided she wanted to walk. Being a gentleman and all, I walk her back. Okay you can puke now >.<

So we chatted some more along the way. Mainly me telling her how fucked-up my paternal side of my family is, but that's another story.

Nah it wasn't too much of a date thing. She is a good friend of mine whom has recently had some problems. I'm just there to provide a listening ear and well, to enjoy her company.

But why the hell am I explaining to you non-paying readers!? Sheez!

On a totally irrelevent note, I thought of a very good movie to make! Will any famous big time award winning director contact me? Lol!

Have a lovely night and a fulfilling sleep!

P.S I will get the photos of the BBQ as promised soon. :D

2006-01-29T08:25:00.000+08:00

*Phew* Luckily my last attempt to bring down this blog has failed. I might be returning to my blogging days just yet.

Anyway the past few days have been a blast. Whoppee!

Not talking about the Cheena New Year which I dread each year here.

Pieces of my life have been sewed together. Random happenings and past experiences seem to make perfect sense. Strange but perfect.

Somehow life seem complete.

I hope life stays this way, or more specifically my perspective stays the same.

Sorry if this entry seemed abit nonsensical. Lack of sleep does strange things to minds.

Anyway will be posting a photo filled entry! Don't miss it.

*Slumps back on the computer chair and falls asleep*

2006-01-13T22:41:00.000+08:00

Lyrics of a song I dug up while running through my trash in the school database. Originally heard from Cassandra's blog. I think I didn't get everything right though, but who cares! Enjoy!

[Title: (you tell me)]

When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
Baby I love you, I love you
Just that way

To hear you stammer when you speak
Or see you walk into that tree
Baby I love you, I love you
Endlessly

When you're mad 'cos you lost a game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love you, I love you
Anyway

[Chorus]
So here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
That's when I love you
When nothing you do can change my mind

The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart that needs to know
That's when I love you
And I love you no matter what

So when you turn and hide your eyes
'Cos the movie, it made you cry
Baby I love you, I love you
A little more each time

When you can't quite match you clothes
And when you laugh at your own jokes
Baby I love you, I love you
More than you know

When you're mad 'cos you lost a game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love you, I love you
Anyway

[Chorus]

2005-12-22T16:49:00.000+08:00

Size 2 box - $2.90
Packing material(newspaper) - $0.70
Stamps - $4.50
A smile on your face on Christmas - Priceless

There's somethings money can't buy.
For everything else, there's pilfering. =)

Have a merry Christmas folks!

P.S Sorry for the bunch of newspaper!

2005-12-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

YEAH! OMFG ITS GODDAMN OVER! *Composes myself* Erhem. Yes my term is over! Meaning to say its gonna be slack, slack and even more slacking times ahead! For 2 whole farking weeks!

Pour some fertilizer on me and I'll assure you you'll get mushrooms!

Oh before it gets thrown out of my mind, I've helped my mates cheat in the test today! It really made my day!

Perhaps I'm really helpful towards all friends, or maybe I'm just another rebel trying to beat the system. Whatever the case, I came out of my exam room a happier man!

On a different but freaky note, I've met the people everyone knows but never really met. Till today! Christians missionaries from afar!

No I didn't stab them with their cross or bludgeon them to death with their bible! On the contrary I treated them with respect they're due.

In fact I was full of admiration for them. Think about it. Leaving the comfort of home for a foreign land, taking in their strides the hardships that lie ahead. On what? FAITH!

You must really hand it to them. I guess it isn't the most prudent thing to do with one's life, but at least they're pursuing what they really want in life. How many of us can do that?

I really should stop rambling and enjoy my holidays! YEAH!

Take care and remember, do cheat and treat missionaries nicely!

2005-12-13T20:48:00.000+08:00

HURRAY! I guess my depression has past! For now at least. =p I've finally found some form or manner of closure. Pretty amazing how denial breeds sadness while acceptence kills it.

There are many things I should and am sorry about.

For starters, I'm sorry about my behaviour, which was in part affected by my mood, in part by my thinking and in part by her Still it's no excuse for being a party pooper if I were ever considered one. ^^

Then comes my absence from online and from my game. I was in retreat(Courtesy of Jo) you see. Nonetheless I know it is demoralising to not see a farmiliar face(or name in this case) online. My zeal and fanatism will return in due time I assure you.

Of so many things I'm sorry for, there's only one I'm not. Meeting and knowing a great friend such as you! You just can't have enough of good friends you know?

Even though I was but a passing interest, at least we were close. Eeeewww! Enough of the emotional bullshit already! >.<

Whatever happens, we'll be forever friends! ;D

And one more thing! CAN ANYONE SEND ME "HERE WITHOUT YOU" BY 3 DOORS DOWN!?

I'm here without you baby. =)

2005-12-10T04:02:00.000+08:00

It's 4am. I just got out of a bath when I hear a creak around a corner. It lunged at me before I could see what hit me.

Depression consumed me whole. Within this episode of possession, it sat me down in front of the computer and made me type this:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To Dear Coconut,

Hi it's me. I know not how to start off a letter in any other fashion. LOL! It's been quite sometime since we really had a good talk yah? You seem kinda distant of late.

Maybe you got caught up in your schoolwork, maybe you've met someone who swept you off your feet, or maybe you've died in your room for 2 days and maggots are consuming you as I speak. Haha!

Whatever the case is I just want to let you know. It's okay to be distant! NOT WRONG ONE HOR! Haha! Even if we've drifted apart over time, our friendship nonetheless remains the same.

Like Sam and me for example. Despite only meeting up once in a month, we remained buddies still over so many years!

Don't have to feel obliged to fill me in on your life after reading this.
I want to give you your space. Everyone knows how stingy you are with your privacy! Don't murder me please =p

Anyway just remember when you need someone to talk to but can't seem to find anyone else, I'm but a ring away.

I wish for everything in your life to go as you desire. ;D Take care my friend.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As depression made me type down the last fullstop, I muster all the happiness in my body and blast it. Spiritually of course.

It tried its best to cling on but was ultimately defeated. Another good triumph over evil crap. As it flew out of the window and landed 9 storey below with a sickening thud, I can't help but grin at my own victory.

Morale of the story? Canadian 2 for 1 pizza are value for money! Good night folks!

2005-12-07T08:47:00.000+08:00

I've just awoken from a restless sleep. For the first time in many months I woke up before my alarm rang and couldn't get back to sleep. It must have been that really disturbing dream. No I won't tell you what I've dreamt =P

All of this kinda reminds me of depressive past. Anything that takes away the joy of sleep really sucks!

Anyway on a relevant note, I've hypothesize that all pessimists are natural depressives. Their mind functions like this:

1) Towards a certain category/categories of situations, their minds have predicted and subconsciously assumed the worse.

2) If the worse really happens, it further reinforces their belief that their predictions are true.

3) Thus their pessimism spreads from that certain category/categories of situations to the rest of the untainted categories.

And voila! You have a depressive! Or that is what I think >.<

I'll end this entry with one of the best quotes I've came across. Have a non-depressing day!

Emotional guys should go bang their head! - Pam, Maple Story